After a first-quarter stumble—marketing costs bloated, tariffs snarled the supply chain—LendingClub found its rhythm. They made $0.33 per share on $248.5 million. A tidy sum. The world keeps spinning. So it goes.
With the grandeur of a Cossack ballad, Coinbase announced their partnership via a tweet and a blog post, declaring their intent to “bridge tradfi to crypto.” The trio of new features? Let’s call it a love letter to the 80 million souls who’ve entrusted Coinbase with their digital dreams. Or their savings. Depends on the market. 🤷♂️
As I pen these words, the FORM price stands proudly at $3.78, a figure that, while modest, carries the weight of a 613.43% surge in 24-hour volume to a staggering $61.79 billion. With a market capitalization now resting at $1.44 billion, FORM has not only captured the hearts of many but also the wallets, as it continues its ascent within a rising price channel. This dramatic rise, much like a grand opera, is filled with crescendos of investor interest and the undercurrents of cautious optimism. 🎵💼
The strength of Coca-Cola lies not in its flashiness—indeed, its business model is rather mundane—but in its remarkable resilience. In the face of market fluctuations and unpredictable political climates, notably the erratic tendencies of current trade policies, Coca-Cola appears well-positioned to weather the storm. The company, a titan of consumer staples, operates largely with a localized manufacturing strategy, ensuring that the bulk of its products for U.S. consumers are produced domestically. Thus, while it is not wholly insulated from the peril of tariffs, its foundation is sturdier than many of its multinational counterparts.
Ethereum (ETH), the overachieving younger sibling, is up over 1%, insisting that it’s heading for $4,000, if only Bitcoin would get out of the bathroom. XRP is bouncing up by 0.6%. Solana is down over 1%, around $181, and Dogecoin (DOGE) is down a little, probably because Elon’s Twitter fingers are busy elsewhere. Cardano (ADA) is drifting at $0.787—which sounds impressive until you realize that’s not even a good tip at a New York coffee shop. Stellar, Chainlink, Hedera, and Polkadot also sported that “declining stocks” look. On the bright side, Litecoin and Toncoin are up, waving from their ski lodge in Switzerland. 🏔️
In a Truth Social post that screams “I’m still relevant, guys!” Trump took another swing at Fed Chair Jerome Powell. Because, you know, what’s a day in politics without a good old-fashioned feud? 🤺
One need only glance at Intel’s most recent earnings report to discern that the company faces formidable challenges, largely due to its new CEO, Lip-Bu Tan, who has embarked upon a rather drastic “right-sizing” campaign. With a decided lack of sentimentality, the company has laid off no less than 15% of its workforce. Furthermore, it is divesting itself of its networking and edge business, thereby transforming into an independent entity, ripe for external investment. In addition, one cannot ignore the impairments taken on obsolete equipment, signaling a departure from assets once considered valuable.
Yet, amid this inferno of destruction, the price of SHIB chose not to soar but instead plummeted with all the grace of a drunken peasant falling off his cart—down 11.11% in just two days. Truly, the gods of irony must have been chuckling at such a spectacle. It seems that while some burned their tokens in hopes of future riches, others watched their investments turn to ash before their very eyes.
In the shade of glass towers, JPMorgan & Chase shakes hands with Coinbase. Out crawls a shiny new promise that Chase card holders, come autumn, can fill their Coinbase wallets as easy as tying their boots. Never before has a bank of this stature grinned at crypto, but here we are—shocking Grandma and Wall Street in one fell swoop. 🤠
Over the past year, Birkenstock’s stock has been all over the place. It’s like watching a person trying to keep their balance while crossing a tightrope strung between two uncomfortable truths. As of this writing, the stock is down about 8% over the last 12 months. However, it’s also surged by 15% from where it stood a year ago. It’s been a classic rollercoaster—rising as much as 15%, then plunging 34% from its 52-week highs. One might call it a volatile year for investors, but let’s face it, that’s a euphemism for the kind of uncertainty we all try to avoid on a Sunday afternoon when we realize we forgot to buy milk.