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And lo, the ProShares Ultra XRP ETF now enters the stage, claiming to deliver a “2x daily XRP return.” Ah, the sweet sounds of leveraged assets—so tempting, so volatile! In its prospectus, ProShares takes a moment to share the excitement of potentially explosive returns, but—surprise, surprise—warns about the risks of following the exchange’s guidelines. It’s as if they’re handing you a loaded gun and reminding you to be careful not to shoot yourself in the foot.

Announced on the 14th of July, the model is rolling out in collaboration with Four.Meme, a meme-centric ecosystem valued at an impressive $360 million. So, what does this mean for us, the ever-curious masses? Well, now, users can purchase tokens using the mighty BNB (because who doesn’t love BNB?) during a token generation event. And as demand heats up, so too does the price—bubbling upwards along a curve that’s both thrilling and mathematically elegant. The price will rise. The price will fall. Just like life itself, really.

TRM Labs, those clever sleuths, reported that the platform’s web infrastructure, including its clearnet mirror, became unreachable in early July 📆. No seizure notice has been posted, which is a bit odd, don’t you think? 🤔 Although it’s possible that law enforcement shut down the site in a covert operation, most signs point to the operators making off with user funds, like a thief in the night 🕷️.

According to Crypto India co-founder Aditya Singh, Wazirx claimed in a court document that CoinDCX was holding its users’ crypto funds with a Lithuanian entity that wasn’t registered with India’s Financial Intelligence Unit (FIU) until February 2025. 😲

Bitcoin is basking in the glory of this bull run, while Pi Coin? Well, it’s trying to keep up, but it’s looking more like a tortoise in a race with a rocket. Some in the Pi community are already pulling out the popcorn, preparing for what they fear may be an upcoming disaster. Spoiler alert: it’s not looking pretty. 🍿

This development, rather amusing in its irony, marks a significant shift for the esteemed asset manager, who has, until now, been a vocal critic of Bitcoin (BTC) and other digital currencies. One might almost suspect a change of heart, were it not for the steadfastness of their skepticism.

Imagine the scene: Ethereum began a bold ascent above the $2,800 threshold—oh, the audacity—following in the well-heeled footsteps of its pal, Bitcoin. It danced its way past the $2,880 resistance zone and strutted into a positively jolly place.

SHIB just closed a weekly candle at $0.00001334, positioning itself above a significant support level and setting the stage for a potential 20% surge if the momentum continues. It’s like the dog is wagging its tail so hard, it might just fly off!

This example could provide a useful cautionary tale for leaders around the globe. Even if a government is determined to liquidate its holdings, a few delays could’ve brought Germany much larger returns. After all, who doesn’t love a good delay, especially when it means more money? 🕒💰

As he kicked off this financial escapade, our dear Investing Broz reminded us of the critical orchestration at play: Bitcoin’s explosive gallop has sparked a wave of speculation marking the potential return of altseason. “This is just one more egg in the basket of potentially altcoin season coming very soon,” he chirps, as if talking about breakfast rather than the fate of our portfolios.