UBS Group AG, the world’s preeminent purveyor of financial prudence, is reportedly on the brink of permitting its private banking clientele to engage in the speculative frenzy of cryptocurrency trading. According to whispers from those in the know (who, of course, prefer to remain anonymous, lest they be accused of spreading such nonsense), the bank has been locked in months of tortured deliberation over how best to structure this offering. The plans, we are told, remain under review, and no final decision has been taken-a mercy, one might think, for all concerned.