Once a limb of the mighty Johnson & Johnson-now severed like a gangrenous toe-the company finds itself haunted by the ghost of powders past. In the U.K., three thousand souls have banded together, their grievances woven into a tapestry of carcinogenic dread. They allege that the talc once dusting infants’ bottoms has, through some alchemical perversity, transmuted itself into a harbinger of cellular betrayal.
In a move that’s either incredibly generous or a clever tax write-off, Tether has officially lobbed a quarter-million dollars at OpenSats. This isn’t just pocket change-it’s a hefty sum aimed at bolstering the “free and open-source technology ecosystem,” which is just a fancy way of saying “keeping the internet from becoming a pay-per-view nightmare.” 🎉💻
After a recent rally that made investors think they’d discovered the Holy Grail of dividends, the stock did a backflip and landed in the dumpster. Why? Because Bitfarms revealed plans to raise $300 million via convertible senior notes. Now, I love a good financial jargon as much as the next guy, but let’s translate that into plain English: they’re printing money to print more money. And somehow, the market thinks this is a *bad* idea. Go figure.
Technical analysis, that sacred art of predicting the unpredictable, whispers that XRP’s descent into the support zone was no mere accident. It was a dance of chaos, a “corrective Elliot cycle” that even the most seasoned analysts might call “a rollercoaster with no seatbelts.” 🎢
The US market already has one XRP-linked ETF – the REX-Osprey XRPR – but traditional spot products are still awaiting approval from the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). A bureaucratic dance, one might say, where the choreography is as confusing as a Russian novel. 📚
There’s a rising demand for put options and miner BTC deposits, which is like a warning sign that says “Hey, we might want to take it easy for a sec,” despite Bitcoin’s price still hanging tough near $108,000. 🙄
The third kingdom of RTX, known to mortals as Pratt & Whitney, announced this dusk that its GTF Advantage engine had secured passage through the labyrinth of the European Union Aviation Safety Agency (EASA). This follows an earlier anointment by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), twin sentinel of the Atlantic. Together, these certifications form a hall of mirrors, reflecting the engine’s destined debut in the mortal realm of commercial aviation by 2025. The GTF Advantage, a leviathan of thrust and thrift, claims dominion over fuel efficiency metrics-a siren song to airlines adrift in the calculus of cost.
Simple-if the $2.8 zone rises from the ashes like a phoenix, then swing traders would have no choice but to believe in a miracle. A reclaim of $2.8 as a demand zone would prove that buyers actually have the strength to push XRP beyond the $3 mark. A glimmer of hope in an otherwise gloomy market. 🙄
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Bridget, why are you crying over a GPU?” Because, dear reader, Nvidia’s chips are the lifeblood of AI. It’s like saying the internet runs on Wi-Fi-and then realizing your Wi-Fi bill is now $4.4 trillion. TSMC is their fairy godmother, but if geopolitical tensions turn into a panto, we’re all singing “Oh, TSMC, wherefore art thou TSMC?” in iambic pentameter.
You see, gold has been strutting around this year like a rooster with a golden comb. It’s been on a tear, and wouldn’t you know, the gold miners, those fine folks like AngloGold, have been riding the coattails of this precious metal’s surge. Now, gold miners should be seen not as humble workers, mind you, but as a kind of glorified middleman. When gold prices go up, their profits shoot through the roof while their costs remain as stable as a rock. And when gold falls, well, don’t expect those same folks to come knocking at your door to share the pain.
