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Musk envisions Tesla as the world’s most valuable company—a titan striding across the earth, unrivaled and supreme. This vision hinges upon the success of ventures like the Cybercab robotaxi, the Optimus humanoid robot, and the continued development of its Full Self-Driving (FSD) software. Yet for all the fanfare surrounding these futuristic gambits, the sobering truth remains: 74% of Tesla’s revenue still flows from its EV business, which appears to be teetering on the brink of collapse. One might call this a classic case of counting one’s chickens before they hatch, though in Musk’s defense, the chickens in question are autonomous and do not, strictly speaking, exist.

Most investors track Buffett’s moves through Berkshire Hathaway’s quarterly 13F filings. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The real story is hidden in the quarterly operating reports—buried on the final pages, just before the executive certifications. There, in plain sight for those who know where to look, lies the gritty detail of his buyback program: shares of Berkshire Hathaway itself.

Behold! The AmEx card, a veritable deus ex machina in the world of finance, operates not merely as a plastic rectangle but as an exquisitely selective dining club for the well-heeled. Unlike those vulgar imitators Visa and Mastercard, who fling their cards at any Tom, Dick, or Harry with a pulse, AmEx insists on a clientele so refined they could probably spell “economically” without batting an eyelid. This exclusivity, one might argue, is a masterstroke of Jeeves-like cunning, for it ensures a clientele less prone to default and more inclined to dine at Michelin-starred establishments. And indeed, the delinquency rate? A mere 0.8%—a figure so low it makes a penguin’s waddle look efficient.

Justin Pope (Nvidia — Aug. 27): Behold Nvidia, that modern-day titan whose ascent mirrors the tragic arc of Icarus himself. Born in the shadow of obscurity, it now soars at the pinnacle of market capitalization, its wings forged from the molten gold of artificial intelligence. Yet as the poet warns: “The higher the monkey climbs, the more he shows his tail.”

As of July 24, this formidable culinary titan rests 34% below its zenith reached in June 2024. The urge to snatch this dip in valuation may tease your impulsive side, yet a precipitated decision could lead to regret. Thus, before you leap into the waters of investment, here are three elemental truths regarding Chipotle that require your attention.

A decade ago, the collective value of these digital playthings amounted to a modest five billion dollars – a sum a prosperous merchant could amass in a particularly successful season of trading carpets. Today, as of this remarkably unremarkable July 24th, we find ourselves gazing at a crypto universe worth a staggering 3.83 trillion! This exuberant rise has, naturally, benefited the likes of XRP (XRP) and Bitcoin (BTC), which have enjoyed rallies of 773% and 426% respectively over the last three years. One might almost suspect a conspiracy amongst the algorithms.

My theory? You want a company that pays a dividend *and* grows it. It’s the financial equivalent of a steady heartbeat. Unfortunately, most stocks are more like a caffeine crash — unpredictable and slightly alarming.