But fear not, dear Matriarch, for though they may have flown to distant climes, their hearts remain tethered to the warm and golden nest thou hast so lovingly prepared for them 🏠. The memories of thy tender care, the whispers of thy gentle voice, and the warmth of thy loving touch shall forever be etched upon their souls ❤️.
Bitcoin’s trusty Mayer Multiple sits cool and collected, not one bit overheated, even as BTC hovers dangerously close to its all-time high (someone give this thing a thermometer!).
On the balmy day of July 7, eager crypto enthusiasts across the vast wasteland of X (which used to be Twitter – but let’s not hop on that bandwagon today) were bandying about screenshots of a page that promised a token sale for Pump.fun’s native token, cleverly named PUMP. This delightful affair was proposed to kick off on July 12, featuring a 72-hour initial exchange offering where 150 billion tokens were priced at a mere $0.004 each. This masterstroke purported a raise of $600 million and hinted at a fully diluted valuation of $4 billion. Or, as the common folk would say, “a whole lotta cash!” 💰
What to know: Dogecoin has stabilized near $0.17 after a 4.6% decline, with strong support forming at the $0.166–$0.167 zone. Despite recent weakness, large wallet accumulation and easing macro headwinds suggest potential bullish continuation if resistance at $0.18, $0.21, and $0.36 is broken. Elon Musk’s announcement of The American Party has reignited interest in Dogecoin, … Read more
For those playing at home, this bombshell dropped right after Trump started waving his “One Big Beautiful Bill” around like a magic wand—clearly trying to overshadow Elon’s plans. But Musk, never one to shy away from a little drama (he’d eat Shakespeare for breakfast), saw Trump’s policy acrobatics and simply went, “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The grown-ups are fighting. Pass the popcorn, please. 🍿
This isn’t your typical political story. It’s about what happens when someone with Musk’s influence decides that both traditional politics and traditional money need a complete overhaul.
According to a press release on July 7, the Nasdaq-listed company has made a bold move, selling about 280 Bitcoin and now boasts a treasury that includes a staggering 100,603 Ethereum, making it one of the biggest institutional Ethereum holders in the world. 🌍
Murad Mahmudov—yes, that very Murad, a man battered and forged by the icy 2020 winds—has become, to our collective surprise, both a shepherd and a wolf in the deranged wilderness. He claims memecoins, those mischievous creatures, have much vigor left in them (as if we should trust anyone who bought Bitcoin before the thaw and now chases memes like a cosmonaut after the last potato).
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“Vols remain pinned near historical lows, but a decisive breach of the $110k resistance could spark a renewed volatility bid. Some larger players appear to be positioning for just that,” Singapore-based QCP Capital remarked in a market update, with a tone that might suggest a hint of amusement at the market’s predictable unpredictability. 😄
