The sale diluted Oracle’s weight in the fund’s 13F reportable assets to 4.9%. This follows Oracle’s 71.5% share price surge since October 2024, propelling its market cap to $838 billion-nearly within striking distance of the $1 trillion milestone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the shocking world of crypto, where even the stodgiest of business tycoons are racing faster than a running banquet at a nudist camp!” Legendary wallet-holder and maverick investor Bitmine Immersion Technologies (BMNR) has, as if by magic or sheer luck, outpaced Marathon Digital to become the second-greatest treasure hunter in the crypto realm! 🎊
“Uptober,” that mischievous wordplay on crypto’s eternally bullish October, wherein pumpkins turn to princes and fools to kings, is merrily fulfilling its satirical destiny! Bitcoin, that insatiable rogue, surges toward lofty all-time highs, dragging altcoins kicking and screaming into the bidding fray, as if possessed by the spirit of some ghostly inspector-general. 🎃😂
While the company itself remained as silent as a well-locked vault, the universe conspired to make its stock dance. According to S&P Global Market Intelligence, the gains were not the result of any singular event, but rather a confluence of factors so mundane they could have been orchestrated by a committee of overworked baristas. (Imagine a world where the stock market’s entire strategy is to wait for the Fed to mumble something about rates, then leap like a startled penguin.)
IREN, having secured Nvidia’s “preferred partner” status, paraded this title like a Cossack with a new sash. Yet the real thaw began when AI’s prophets-Oracle, OpenAI, and Nvidia-unfurled scrolls predicting a future where compute power flows like honey. IREN, with its 2.91 GW of power and a fleet of GPUs expanding like a forest after fire, positioned itself as the axe-maker in an age of lumberjacks. But what is a forest but a temporary mirage for those who forget the axe dulls?
The catalyst for this bewildering surge was one Brett Knoblauch, an analyst at Cantor Fitzgerald, who-without a trace of irony-decided that Riot Platforms deserved a higher valuation. Prior to Monday’s opening bell, Knoblauch raised his price target for Riot’s stock to $26 a share from $22, maintaining his “buy” recommendation. This was, as analysts like to say, a “bullish” move, which in non-financial jargon means he believes Riot is, at least for now, a company poised to continue climbing-provided it doesn’t get hit by a meteor, suffer a catastrophic Bitcoin crash, or become the victim of a sudden and inexplicable shift in the laws of physics.
the former has agreed to purchase the latter’s data center infrastructure unit,
And so it was, the wider altcoin market-those noble brethren-followed suit, with Ethereum (ETH) and Binance Coin (BNB) leading the charge, like faithful knights in a forgotten tale. The ETH price surged a gallant 4%, cresting at a princely $4,736, only to be pulled back gently to a serene $4,676.
Just before the stock market closed on Monday, Bloomberg News reported that the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is investigating AppLovin.
This bold proposal, penned by our fearless hero Venturefounder, is like a crypto diet plan-ditch the 2% annual inflation (that’s right, no more free lunch of 200 million new tokens flooding the market like an unwanted party) and introduce a treasury-backed burn or buyback scheme to boot. It’s all about fighting that relentless sell pressure, because who needs tokens multiplying like rabbits in a horror movie? 😏
