Behold the sullen countenance of Bitcoin’s dominance, now a mere 60.7%, a shadow of its former self! While Ethereum, that cunning serpent, has clawed its way to a 47.21% return in Q3, outpacing Bitcoin’s meager 7.14%. A most peculiar dance, this! The Altseason index, that fickle oracle, now stands at 37-a number both ominous and tantalizing. 🌀
Let us now turn our attention to the iShares Bitcoin Trust itself-a vehicle, ostensibly, for navigating this intriguing landscape.
At present, Upstart trades at seventy-nine dollars a share, a modest offering for a company holding a market value of seven and a half billion. To reach the promised land-ten times that-its shares must multiply nine hundred percent, up to about eight hundred dollars, swelling its market to three-quarters of a trillion dollars-a sum that makes every small investor wonder if this is hope or folly. Still, it’s a stark reminder of how far from the roots of the earth the promise of growth can reach, in a financial landscape that favors the mighty and the well-connected.
Now, dears, let us tiptoe through the tulips of eligibility. The Midnight Foundation took its snapshot of XRP balances at Ledger index 96724473. If your balance flirts with or surpasses 43.29 XRP (roughly $28 at press time), congratulations-you’re in the game! But don’t get too excited; the tokens won’t land in your XRP address like a tipsy guest at a soirée. Instead, they’ll glide over to a fresh Cardano address, forcing you to cross chains with all the grace of a debutante attempting the cha-cha. 💃🕺 Oh, and did I mention? Only one claim per identity, darling. Midnight isn’t handing out seconds here.
Take XRP and Dogecoin. They’re like that ex who texts you “I’ve changed” after three months. Sure, they’ve got a spot in some investor’s portfolio, but August? Oh, sweet summer child, August is going to be a dumpster fire of a rebound. And 2025? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Revenue soared to a resounding $167.7 billion, with earnings per share of $1.68-figures that danced elegantly above Wall Street’s expectations. Alas, as often happens with these titans of commerce, the guidance for Q3 operating income was set at a modest $18 billion (midpoint), a number some analysts find wanting when compared to the $19.5 billion forecast. But for those who look beyond the quarterly vicissitudes, such underpromising may well be the canvas upon which bold, enduring strategies are painted.
Consider the current grotesque parade: artificial intelligence, that eight-legged spider spinning its web across every industry. Investors, like moths to a flame, flock to its gilded labyrinth, blind to the cobwebs of overvaluation. Yet not all are entranced. David Tepper, that grizzled bear of Appaloosa, has been selling shares of AI’s most anointed acolytes-Nvidia, AMD, TSMC-as if exorcising demons from his portfolio. Meanwhile, he piles into Broadcom, that unassuming octopus with tentacles in a dozen industries, as though it were the last remaining lighthouse in a storm of delusion.
Amid this frenzy, the altcoin season index lingers at a meager 35. Yet, some analysts whisper of an impending altseason, as if the gods of crypto are about to bless us with another round of digital alchemy.
Our hero Bitcoin, bless its heart, has crafted two tantalizing gaps-above not far from $117,000, and below just shy of $111,000. It’s as though the market’s playing a game of hide and seek, baiting traders into a little risqué dance of stop-losses and latecomers who jump into the fray with misguided gusto. Naturally, our beloved coin is expected to leap toward the upper gap first, only to get cold feet and retreat-like a supper guest who’s had enough of the canapés. But fret not! This retreat is pure poetic justice, filling demand-rich pockets and setting the scene for a bullish encore-cue the fanfare!
On a fine Wednesday, a sentencing memorandum was dispatched to the august Seattle federal court, presided over by the venerable Judge Robert Lasnik. Within its pages, the prosecutors argued that the rascally duo-Potapenko and Turõgin-ought to be confined for ten long years for their “horrible crime” that left nearly 300 million in victim losses.
