The Bold Move: Nasdaq’s First Tether Gold Reserve by Aurelion Treasury – Gold Just Got Digital!

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This monumental announcement comes right on the heels of the firm securing a whopping $150 million in fresh funding-just in case you needed reminding that the world is still brimming with cash. The goal? To create a digital gold treasury that fuses the timeless allure of actual gold with the cold, calculating precision of blockchain technology. It’s the sort of thing that makes you think, “Well, why didn’t I think of that?”

Altcoin Bloodbath: ETH, XRP, SOL, DOGE Crumble as Liquidations Near $900M

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Ethereum, bless its heart, is one of the most tragic performers today, losing nearly 6% of its value. It’s like watching your favorite reality TV star go from a sparkling diamond to a broken bottle. ETH has now dipped below $4,100, and it’s headed straight for $4,000-let’s throw a little party when that happens. 🎉 According to CoinGecko, its weekly losses are a delightful 10.6%. But hey, who’s counting, right?

Levi Strauss (LEVI) Stock Takes a Hit: What Investors Should Know

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For the third quarter of fiscal 2025, Levi Strauss reported a respectable 6.9% year-over-year increase in revenues, totaling $1.54 billion. The company achieved double-digit growth in Asia, while European revenue growth was somewhat subdued, rising by a mere 3% when adjusted for currency fluctuations. The consensus forecast had pegged revenues at $1.50 billion, a target the company comfortably exceeded.

Trump’s Boys & Bitcoin: A Match Made in Crypto Heaven? 🤑

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My dear, it seems a subsidiary of Dominari Holdings (DOMH), that investment firm with ties to the Trump boys (yes, the ones with the golden lifts), is teaming up with the Bitcoin programmability project Hemi. All to advance their digital asset treasury and exchange-traded fund (ETF) plans. How ambitious! 🏙️💰

Hyperliquid Heist: Private Key Leak Costs Millions, Crypto Reacts

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The victim’s wallet, known in the underworld of ledgers as 0x0cdC, was drained of 17.75 million DAI and 3.11 million MSYRUPUSDP tokens. The audacious culprit bridged the spoils to Ethereum, where they currently lurk under the watchful glare of watchers who resemble overcaffeinated hawks. 🦅💸