Bitcoin’s Billionaire Zombies Rise from the Crypt 🧠💀

Blockchain tracking firm Lookonchain, those intrepid detectives of the digital realm, report that the two Bitcoin addresses, each containing 10,000 BTC, were emptied within minutes of each other on the 4th of July. One wonders if the owners, in a burst of patriotic fervor, decided to celebrate Independence Day by declaring their independence from the shackles of dormancy.

Ethereum’s Epic Rollercoaster: Crash or Soar? 🚀💰

Weslad, with the foresight of a prophet, points to the 2021 peak of Ethereum, when the price reached the dizzying heights of $4,851, as the moment when a grand symmetrical pennant began to form. This pennant, a pattern that has persisted for years, continues to play out even in 2025, four years later. The analyst, with a keen eye for detail, believes that Ethereum has been in a long-term accumulation phase, a corrective range that, like a coiled spring, could unleash a powerful surge. The formation of an ABCDE wave pattern, a pattern that often predicts the peaks and troughs of market cycles, suggests that Ethereum is currently in a D wave, a phase that, contrary to popular belief, is still bullish. “Currently, price action is developing near point D, approaching the upper boundary of the pennant, a crucial area that could define the next directional move,” the analyst muses. If this D wave plays out as expected, Ethereum could surge to levels above $3,500, a move that would be nothing short of miraculous. And if that weren’t enough, the formation of an Inverse Head and Shoulders Pattern, with $2,855 acting as a key resistance, could, if broken, propel Ethereum to new all-time highs above $6,000. The market, it seems, is a fickle mistress, but one who, if courted with patience and wisdom, might just reward her suitors with untold riches.

Ethereum’s Golden Cross Flops: $3,000 Dream Crushed? 😱

But not this time, no sirree. This time, Ethereum’s price action has been as flat as a pancake, making it hard to imagine a break above $3,000 anytime soon. Now, I don’t know about you, but I reckon that’s a bit like inviting the whole town to a party and then forgetting to buy any food or drinks. It’s just downright embarrassing.

XRP, SHIB, BTC: Death Cross, Rejection, and Breakout – Oh My!

These moving averages could formally cross, solidifying the death cross signal, if price action keeps moving sideways or if there is fresh selling pressure. This configuration has enough technical weight to shake sentiment even though it is not as important as the traditional 50/200-day crossover — particularly in a market that already lacks strong conviction. 😱

Analyst Sees Bitcoin Soaring to $118,000: A Tale of Crypto Optimism and Sarcasm

In a recent strategy session, the enigmatic crypto trader, Ali Martinez, whose social media following numbers 139,200 souls, has declared that the top crypto asset by market cap, Bitcoin, is on the brink of a monumental ascent. Should it manage to close a day above $109,000, the path to a new all-time high of $118,000 may well be paved with golden bricks. 🌟