Imagine a wall at $0.43751 to $0.37315-an insurmountable hurdle or just another wall painted on sand? Every attempt to break through is met with a laugh, a slap, or a shrug. If by some miracle it pushes past, perhaps the market’s faith will revive, and Hedera might boogie its way upward. But alas, if it keeps getting rejected, we’re all stuck in the same old rut, watching this puppet dance within its tiny stage.
A single tweet from hedge fund manager Eric Jackson, once a vocal advocate for Opendoor, redirected attention to Better Home & Finance (BETR). His assertion that BETR could become the “Shopify of mortgages” ignited a frenzied 47% surge in the latter stock. While Opendoor remains technically supported by Jackson’s broader thesis, the pivot exposed the fragility of momentum-driven investments. Retail investors, ever opportunistic, liquidated positions in Opendoor to chase the next speculative prize-a move that turned the stock into collateral damage.
After disclosing that its cloud business had grown faster than a bureaucratic committee in a hurricane, Oracle reappeared in the headlines today, this time with a plotline thicker than a 1980s thriller. The company announced two co-CEO successors to Safra Catz, who, in a move reminiscent of a retirement home’s mandatory shuffleboard tournament, declared her intention to step down. Meanwhile, Oracle edged closer to becoming a TikTok USA co-owner, a deal that feels less like a business transaction and more like a geopolitical game of Jenga with added tea ceremonies.
GoPro has been crowned No. 5 in the Appliances & Electronics category of Newsweek‘s 1,000-strong World’s Most Trustworthy Companies for 2025. Imagine a grand parade of 33 companies in their category, all preening like peacocks, while GoPro fluffs its feathers smugly. For two years running, they’ve clung to this list like a tick on a tale-bearing dog.
The MultiCloud database revenue, propelled by the geniuses in their silicon laboratories, has surged by an eye-watering 1,529% year-over-year in the first quarter. The sagacious CEO, Larry Eliason, offered a prophecy of continued exponential growth, asserting that this figure shall grow “substantially every quarter for several years.” 🍾
As the calendar turns to September, the company is poised for a significant announcement at month’s end that could bring the stock even closer to its previous highs. Investors may want to evaluate the current situation to determine whether now is the time to capitalize on a potential dip.
They sent a letter-yes, a letter-signed by the usual suspects, maybe over coffee, maybe over a PowerPoint, urging the SEC boss-Paul or whatever-“Don’t delay, move faster!” As if the SEC is waiting for the right time to turn everyone’s nest egg into a rollercoaster of digital coins. 🎢
In their epistle, these visionaries proclaim the order’s potential to enrich the golden years of “millions of Americans.” They wax poetic on the virtues of alternative investments, such as the enigmatic crypto, which, they assure us, shall bolster the risk-adjusted returns of retirement accounts-when deemed fitting by the wise plan fiduciaries, of course. 🧙♂️📈
is this investment merely a form of self-interest in disguise? OpenAI, after all, will deploy the funds not in charity, but for the construction of vast data centers, designed to fuel the next generation of artificial intelligence. Yet, these data centers will run on Nvidia’s own GPUs, thus ensuring that this substantial sum will turn back into Nvidia’s coffers. What a clever arrangement. For all the talk of groundbreaking innovation, one wonders if the grand scheme merely serves to line the pockets of those already at the helm. The systems will require a staggering 10 gigawatts of compute power-approximately the same as 4 million to 5 million GPUs. This, one imagines, will be the total volume Nvidia ships this year. It seems the ambitions of these companies are boundless, yet rather contained within a circle of their own making.
Solana now graces the stage of Crosschain Swaps 🎭
