Fold has finally debuted its new Bitcoin rewards credit card, because apparently, we’re all secretly crypto billionaires in the making. 🤑 The card runs on the Visa network (fancy!) and is powered by Stripe Issuing (techy!). The best part? No more juggling categories, staking tiers, or deciphering complicated token systems. Just spend money, get Bitcoin. It’s like magic, but with spreadsheets. 📈
The FDA’s seal of approval for HeartFlow’s Plaque Analysis algorithm is no mere bureaucratic stamp. It is a signal to the world that this machine-learning tool, which renders 3D maps of arterial plaque, has crossed the threshold from promise to practicality. The company wasted no time declaring the product available for sale, its press release brimming with the confidence of a man who’s seen too many winters and knows the value of a warm fire.
The news was nothing new. Oh, sure, there was that long-standing afterglow from Nvidia’s announcement to sink a cool $5 billion into Intel’s pockets like a charity donation for the damned. Oh, and some new analyst ‘upgrades’-as if that means anything in this wretched hellscape we call finance. The S&P 500 plunged by 0.6% while Intel-oh blessed Intel-sailed triumphantly on its tiny wave of positivity.
Cardano (ADA), that most enigmatic of digital assets, currently trades at $0.82, a price point that suggests it has more in common with a teacup than a rocket ship. Despite a 24-hour volume of $1.8 billion, its weekly performance has been a masterclass in modesty-down 5%, one might say with the grace of a deflated balloon.
BPL-003, Atai’s antidepressant, is no mere molecule-it is a river carving through the bedrock of treatment-resistant depression. In an open-label phase 2a study, it coursed through patients like a thawing stream, dissolving the ice of despair with “rapid, clinically meaningful” effects. The collaboration with Beckley Psytech, a U.K.-based entity with the quiet precision of a watchmaker, suggests this is no fleeting ripple but a tide.
The proposal is now up for public scrutiny on X, where users are split between those who’d trade a kidney for cheaper transactions and those who fear their earnings will vanish like a mirage in the desert. The feedback stage is a critical juncture-will the proposal survive the gauntlet of opinions, or will it be buried under a mountain of skepticism?
Goldman Sachs’ Allen Chang, that esteemed oracle of Wall Street, didn’t just raise his price target for Pony AI-he gave it a 13% facelift and a standing ovation. Now at $27.70, the new “fair value” is practically a middle finger to the company’s current price. A “buy” recommendation? More like a “bow” recommendation. After all, what’s 30% growth when you’re racing toward the future? A warm-up lap. 🏁
Institutions, with their pockets deep as the Mariana Trench, are adopting Solana faster than a squirrel in a nut factory. Forward Industries, ever the trendsetter, has announced its grand entrance into the realm of tokenized shares on Solana. One might say they’re riding the wave of innovation-or perhaps they’re just chasing the next shiny object. 🐿️💸
At 5.4%, Realty Income’s dividend is a crust of bread thrown to the starving. For three decades, it has tossed this crumb annually-through recessions, pandemics, and the slow decay of the American mall. Its empire spans 15,600 properties, a graveyard of retail titans like Sears and JCPenney. The buildings still stand, now rented to dollar stores and pawnshops, their tenants clawing for space in a world where capital demands blood.
According to CZ, the fake news from the Financial Times – which he hasn’t even read because he’s too busy saving the crypto world – is just “made-up stuff” for clicks and negativity. He’s so sure he hasn’t even looked at the article, he probably thinks the internet’s just a big troll. As far as he’s concerned: no fund, no demo, no drama. WTF is a demo, anyway? Sounds like something you get at a car dealership! 😂