And yet, the scribes of Wall Street, those modern-day oracles, whisper of 2026’s golden promise. To purchase The Trade Desk (TTD) and Atlassian (TEAM), they suggest, is to dance with the future. But what is a bull market but a collective delusion, sustained by the belief that the next crash will be the last?
The federal government, that most solemn of investors, has now joined the fray. A most audacious move, though one that raises eyebrows as swiftly as a well-timed quip. While the U.S. has, in its long and storied history, occasionally dabbled in equity, the Trump administration’s foray into the stock market is, to put it mildly, unprecedented.
Now transformed into a titan of e-commerce and the unparalleled sovereign of cloud computing, it boasts a market capitalization that ascends to $2.3 trillion, marking it as the fifth-largest publicly traded company. In this ever-evolving arena, one cannot help but perceive the latent potential still unfolding before it, a narrative steeped in the promise of growth and the enduring spirit of innovation.
Now, if you’ve got your nets cast for passive income, particularly with the golden years of retirement peeking over the horizon, let me tell you a tale of a company called Clorox (CLX)-a veritable treasure chest for your income stream if ever there was one.
Brookfield Renewable (BEPC) and Clearway Energy (CWEN.A) ain’t just peddling electrons – they’re running cash cows as steady as a Mississippi steamboat’s paddlewheel. Both sport dividends juicier than a Georgia peach and growth prospects that’d make a wheat farmer weep. Let me spin you a yarn about these modern-day alchemists turning sunshine and wind into gold.
IMAGE SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES.
The past two years have seen Nvidia’s stock surge by 1,150%, a performance that has left many investors breathless and wary. The allure of AI-its promise to revolutionize industries from healthcare to finance-is undeniable. But the road ahead is strewn with uncertainties. What does this mean for those who hold Nvidia’s shares, and what might the future hold for this once-obscure semiconductor maker?
Behold, the payment-optimized blockchain, Tempo, birthed by the unholy alliance of Stripe and Paradigm, has siphoned $500 million from the pockets of the gullible. Thrive Capital and Greenoaks led the charge, joined by Sequoia, Ribbit, and SV Angel. Stripe and Paradigm, the masterminds, stood aside, perhaps too busy counting their existing fortunes. 💼
A revival, you ask? Fresh whale accumulation and the return of retail fervor are the needed enchantments to seduce the market into a melodious ascent. Without these, Dogecoin remains a somber character in an otherwise vibrant marketplace.
Since the great liquidation of last weekend-a calamity so severe it would make even a Soviet grain planner weep-BitMine has quietly amassed 379,271 Ether. That’s nearly $1.5 billion in ethereal promises (😭), acquired in three neat little installments as if buying potatoes at a collective farm: 202,037 after the crash, 104,336 on Thursday (perhaps during tea break), and 72,898 on Saturday-because, why not? Sunday was already ruined by reality.
