Sjuul, the oracle of charts, has spoken: Hyperliquid is stuck in a lower-high, lower-low pattern-basically, the financial version of a never-ending spiral down a drain. 🌀 Every time it tries to break free, it’s rejected like a bad pickup line at a robot bar. The chart is a masterpiece of misery, with momentum fading faster than a hitchhiker’s hopes on the Magrathea Expressway. 🚀
In a Monday memorandum addressed lovingly to the US Office of the Comptroller of the Currency-a bureaucratic beast that approves or kills banking dreams-the ICBA declared a vigorous “strong opposition” to Coinbase’s daring application. Their main concern? The “untested” nature of crypto custody-a term that makes you wonder if they believe the blockchain is some sort of mythical creature hiding in the shadows. Plus, they worry Coinbase might “struggle to turn a profit” during crypto downturns-because, of course, when the market dips, everything must fall apart, including dreams of financial revolution. 💸
Mere days after Trump feigned ignorance of the crypto titan-“CZ? Sounds like a vitamin,” he quipped-he erased his anti-money laundering convictions with the stroke of a pen. 🖋️💨
While the market’s having a meltdown, Bitcoin’s doing the cha-cha slide into Binance. The world’s largest exchange is now the hero we didn’t know we needed. According to our data wizard, CryptoQuant, Binance’s BTC reserves are booming. Meanwhile, other exchanges are watching their balances vanish faster than your patience during a bear market. 🧙♂️
And just to spice things up, Bitcoin, that brave little engine, flirted dangerously close to the $100k mark on Tuesday, only to scoot back like it saw a ghost. The whole crypto circus is in full swing, it seems.
According to Fox Business-which, let’s be real, is about as neutral as a buttered skillet-the resolution’s target is as clear as a summer sky: Trump, his family, and every elected official from sea to shining sea. The goal? To stop them from turning the presidency into a carnival game where the prize is a suitcase full of Bitcoin. 🎪
According to a filing submitted to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on November 04, 2025, Yong Rong (HK) Asset Management Ltd liquidated its entire holding in Futu Holdings Limited during the third quarter. The firm sold approximately 478,200 shares, with an estimated transaction value of $59.1 million, reducing its position from 14.3% of AUM to zero. A tidy exit, one might say, though “tidy” is a word that makes me think of tax forms and funerals.
And let’s not forget the whales, those giant, greedy sea creatures who just decided to dump a billion DOGE tokens. Because nothing says “I’m rich” like throwing money into the void, right? 🐠
IVV, the elder of the two, carried the burden of a lower expense ratio like a farmer’s plow-steady, unyielding. Its dividends, though modest, fell like rain in a parched land. QQQ, meanwhile, wore its higher fees as a jeweler’s chain, gleaming with the promise of 30% returns in a single year, though its dividend yield was but a whisper. The numbers, like the dust on a forgotten ledger, told a tale of trade-offs: one for patience, the other for ambition.
The price of Ethereum? Oh, it’s back to where it was a year ago. Progress, right? 🚀✨
