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The curious thing about markets is their inherent unevenness. They are not a smooth plain, but a landscape of hills and valleys, of sudden blooms and lingering frosts. To seek a uniform return is to ignore the very nature of things. One can, with a discerning eye, locate those pockets of vitality, those nascent forces that promise a richer harvest. And it is in this spirit that I have turned my attention to the Invesco QQQ Trust, a fund that has, for a considerable time, defied the easy categorization of ‘market-matching.’

Look, let’s be real. Rivian hasn’t exactly been crushing it in the production department. They went from making 24,000 vehicles in 2022 to 57,000 in 2023, which sounds good until you realize it dropped to around 42,000 last year. It’s like they’re playing production Tetris, and the blocks keep falling faster. And, you know, they’re not making money. Not a huge surprise when you’re trying to build cars. It’s expensive! They’re blaming supply chains, fewer subsidies (thanks, government!), and the fact that everyone and their mother is now making an electric vehicle. The R2 is their attempt to fix all that by, you know, making a slightly cheaper version.

The vagaries of the market are, of course, legendary. To attempt to decipher its moods is to invite madness. One could attribute Chipotle’s dip to any number of external factors—a passing cloud, a poorly worded tweet, the sheer ennui of investors. But I suspect the fault lies not in the stars, but in the analyst’s assessment. It is a curious thing, this modern habit of offering pronouncements without the bother of providing detail. Mr. Curtis, it seems, foresees “a significant rebound for Chipotle in FY26 due to multiple sales driving initiatives.” Initiatives, mind you, which remain shrouded in a delightful, Wildean mystery.

She, the orchestrator of Ark Invest’s portfolio – a rather audacious ensemble of growth-minded enterprises – has been, shall we say, accumulating. A collector of promissory notes, if you will, on these very same ventures. Let us, with a detached curiosity, examine the rationale behind this peculiar fondness, this willingness to catch falling stars before they fully extinguish.

Stifel’s Wieczynski stuck to his “buy” rating, a $25 target. Analysts. They deal in hopes and projections. I deal in realities, and the reality is, numbers don’t lie, but they can be…massaged.

There was, at one point, a rather substantial impairment charge – a sum of $3.8 billion, if you please – which rather knocked the book value about. But things, as they so often do, are in a state of flux. Berkshire, now under the capable direction of Mr. Greg Abel, considered, if whispers are to be believed, a divestment. The notion of splitting Kraft Heinz into two separate entities was bandied about, but mercifully, it seems, was put on hold, presumably at Berkshire’s behest. One gathers they’re content to hold firm for the moment, and frankly, one can’t blame them for a spot of caution.

You’d think, wouldn’t you, with everything going on in the Middle East, that gold – that age-old ‘safe haven’ asset – would be doing rather well. A bit of a rally, perhaps. Instead, it’s been going the other way. Falling. Which is… perplexing. It’s a bit like expecting an umbrella to keep you dry during a snowstorm. It just doesn’t compute.

But admiring the engine is not the same as admiring the price of the fuel. Costco, in its relentless efficiency, has reached a valuation that requires a certain… faith. A leap, if you will, over a chasm filled with discounted toilet paper and the ghosts of overvalued retailers past. The problem, naturally, isn’t the business itself. It’s the number currently affixed to each share. Approaching the thousand-dollar mark again, investors would do well to consider if they’re buying a company, or simply a particularly robust rumour.

The current unrest in the Middle East, predictably, has begun to unsettle the markets. More precisely, it has forced a belated reckoning with the fact that perpetual optimism is a luxury few can afford. The whispers among those who watch the Federal Reserve – a rather gloomy fraternity, at the best of times – suggest a rather less generous flow of rate cuts than anticipated. A curious development, wouldn’t you agree? To expect endless descent is to ignore the immutable laws of gravity, both financial and physical.

The price tag? Around $8.79 million. Which, when you think about it, is roughly equivalent to the cost of a decent, albeit small, island. Or a truly impressive collection of vintage staplers. I’ve been known to collect both, though not concurrently. The staplers are far more reliable.