Ostap Bender and the $46.7 Billion Nvidia Jubilee – AI’s Resplendent Mirage

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They say the world marches toward artificial intelligence with the resoluteness of a traveling salesman approaching a newly electrified village. Nvidia, merchant-extraordinaire of the silicon bazaar, has counted $46.7 billion in quarterly revenue – a sum so astronomically large that modest provincial treasuries have begun sending embarrassed telegrams of congratulation.

What can one say about this quarter? That it glistened? That it glittered? Some would say that the whole affair shone with the luster of freshly polished brass. But, among market skeptics, there’s little appetite for brass, polished or otherwise; we prefer the sturdy utility of iron, and iron, as everyone knows, rusts upon contact with reality. In this way, our friend Nvidia presents less as Prometheus and more as a venerable croupier, dealing out chips at the AI roulette table with an expression that suggests he’s memorized the odds – and so have his partners from Wall Street.

do not imagine, dear reader, that all who step into the stock exchange ballroom are dancing with both shoes on. The hysteria for AI resembles nothing so much as the great fur hat rush of St. Petersburg, in which every clerk, coachman, and merchant’s widow lined up for a ticket to the promised future, and found himself instead with a bill of dubious provenance. Here, investors, intoxicated by the scent of “smart money,” wager blindfolded on a future that exists mainly in vivid presentations assembled by very relaxed marketing departments.[AI-Trade-Alive]

Yet, let us not be parsimonious with praise when the numbers do sing so operatically. The bards at Nvidia serenade us with profits, suggesting that business is not just brisk, but positively fevered. $46.7 billion! How many chandeliers could one hang with such proceeds? How many expressive fountains of innovation can be installed in the corporate courtyard? All at once, tiny software empires across the globe find themselves gripped by the conviction that, in this grand new age, anything infused with “AI” becomes instantly more alluring – even a seasoned washing machine.[Caveats]

Of course, should you look beneath this gilded surface, you may find the usual assortment of caveats deposited quietly in shadowy alcoves: questions of sustainability, whispers of demanding supply chains, murmurs about the actual utility of these prodigious algorithms outside the sacred halls of PowerPoint. No revolution ever unfolded without a fine print, and no get-rich-quick scheme ever lacked for enthusiastic participants – especially before the music stops and everyone is invited to inspect their pockets.

Ostap himself would recommend enjoying the spectacle, placing a gentlemanly wager if you must, and preparing a nifty exit plan in case the floor reveals itself as a well-disguised trapdoor. In the end, perhaps that is the most profitable trade of all.

– A charlatan’s wink to the cautious and the bold. 🎩

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2025-08-29 12:14