OMG: 3 Crypto IPOs About to Blow Up Post Circle & Bullish Chaos 🚀💰

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Oh, darling diary, the crypto circus is back in town, and it’s bigger, louder, and more chaotic than ever. If you thought your cousin’s NFT collection was the pinnacle of financial absurdity, buckle up because we’re about to witness *three* new crypto IPOs strutting their stuff on Wall Street. Yes, three. And they’re all trying to outshine Circle (CRCL) and Bullish (BLSH), who made their debuts with all the subtlety of a drunk peacock at a garden party. 🦚💸

The Crypto IPO Frenzy: FOMO or Just Plain Extra?

Let’s talk about Circle and Bullish for a moment, shall we? Circle, the brains behind USDC (you know, the stablecoin that’s supposed to be as steady as your grandma’s knitting), and Bullish, Peter Thiel’s brainchild (because apparently, one empire isn’t enough), have both been making headlines. Their stock prices shot up faster than a cat video goes viral on TikTok. But here’s the twist-Circle’s stock has since plummeted like a soufflé in a hurricane, and Bullish is also having a bit of an identity crisis. Classic crypto drama, right? 🎭📉

And let’s not forget the OGs of this crypto chaos-Coinbase (COIN) and Robinhood (HOOD). Coinbase’s shares skyrocketed nearly 500% over the past year, while Robinhood gave us a modest 60% spike. Meanwhile, Bitcoin hit a shiny new record price of $124,000, which has everyone clutching their pearls and muttering, “FOMO!” under their breath. 😱💎

Oh, and did I mention President Trump’s grand vision of turning the U.S. into the “crypto capital of the world”? Because nothing screams stability like a former reality TV star declaring his love for blockchain. Cue the confetti cannons and cringe emojis. 🎉🙈

Who’s Next in Line for the IPO Rollercoaster? 🎢

First up, we have Grayscale, the asset manager that turned crypto investing into something your boring uncle might actually consider. With over $33 billion in assets under management, they’ve filed confidentially for an IPO. Because apparently, managing billions wasn’t enough-they need to be publicly traded too. Ambitious much? 🤑📈

Then there’s Gemini, the Winklevoss twins’ brainchild. Remember them? The guys who tried to launch a Bitcoin fund for a decade before pivoting to running their own exchange? Well, now they’re eyeing an IPO, hoping to recapture that sweet $7.1 billion valuation from 2021. Spoiler alert: they’re probably Googling “how to pronounce ‘billionaire’” as we speak. 💼✨

Last but not least, BitGo, the crypto custody queen bee, is also jumping on the IPO bandwagon. With over $100 billion in assets under its wing, BitGo is basically the bouncer at the hottest crypto club. But will their IPO filing reveal any skeletons in the closet? Stay tuned for the drama. 🕵️‍♀️🎭

But let’s not kid ourselves-this whole crypto IPO thing is like a box of chocolates. You never know if you’re going to get a rich, gooey center or just… raisins. 🍫🤷‍♀️

And here’s the tea: Circle’s stock dropped over 50% from its peak, and Bullish is down 45%. So, while these companies started with fireworks, they’re now more like soggy sparklers. Still, the crypto train keeps chugging along, because why let logic get in the way of a good time? 🚂💨

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2025-08-19 09:14