Oklo’s Wobble: A Nuclear Nudge

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Now, Oklo (OKLO 7.73%), a company attempting to build miniature power stations – little fizzbangs of atomic energy, if you will – experienced a bit of a tumble Thursday morning. A rather unpleasant slide, actually, down 8.3% by half-past ten. And what, you ask, caused this wobbly bit of bother? A pronouncement from the U.S. Department of Energy, a place brimming with Important People and even more Important Paperwork.

This pronouncement, a grand scheme to modernize the nation’s nuclear doodads, contained… absolutely nothing about Oklo. Not a peep. Not a whisker. It was as if the company had vanished into thin air, swallowed by a particularly grumpy government filing cabinet.

The Curious Case of the Innovation Campuses

The Department of Energy, you see, has issued a “Request for Information” – a fancy way of saying they’re asking states if they wouldn’t mind hosting some “Nuclear Lifecycle Innovation Campuses.” These campuses, imagine them as enormous playgrounds for atoms, could house advanced reactors, factories for fiddling with nuclear fuel, and even places to stash the leftover bits – the stuff nobody quite knows what to do with. A bit like a very large, slightly dangerous attic.

They’re also proposing data centers and advanced manufacturing facilities, all powered by these miniature suns. A rather clever idea, really, if you ignore the potential for everything to glow in the dark.

States have until April 1st, 2026 – a date suspiciously close to April Fool’s Day – to submit their applications. One wonders if the Department of Energy is secretly hoping for a few ridiculous proposals.

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What Does This Mean for Oklo?

CNBC, a television channel that seems awfully fond of numbers, pointed out that each of these Innovation Campuses could attract a staggering $50 billion in investment. A truly enormous sum, enough to buy a great many lollipops. This, naturally, might have excited Oklo investors… if Oklo were actually mentioned in the announcement.

But alas, it wasn’t. And there wasn’t a single penny earmarked for subsidies, not a ha’penny. The implication, as far as one can tell, is that the government is merely seeking land – vast, empty patches of earth – and expecting companies like Oklo to foot the bill for building these atomic contraptions. A rather cheeky request, wouldn’t you say?

Oklo might eventually decide to play along. But if it does, it appears they’ll be doing so with their own money. A rather lonely prospect, like building a magnificent castle with only pocket change. One can’t help but feel a tiny bit sorry for them… although, of course, investing in miniature power stations is always a bit of a gamble, isn’t it?

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2026-01-29 18:22