Oh, the Downturns We Endure! 😩

by

Markets

One does begin to suspect that September – ghastly month, isn’t it? – has a particular dislike for Bitcoin. Apparently, it’s been declining in nine out of the last fourteen Septembers. Rather like an unwelcome house guest overstaying their welcome, don’t you think? A most unpleasant annual tradition.

The market capitalization, one gathers, has rather slumped to a paltry $3.74 trillion (how dreadfully inconvenient!), and Bitcoin itself opened the week languishing near $110,000. One almost feels a twinge of pity… almost.

Traders are, naturally, in a state of fluttering apprehension. Macro uncertainty? Thinning volumes? It’s all so terribly… predictable. Honestly, one would expect them to be prepared for such tediousness. Solana, bless its heart, is attempting a spirited rally at 4%, while XRP and Cardano are merely ambling along with a modest increase. Such pedestrian efforts!

XRP
XRP $2.7757 ◢0.17%

Mr. Alex Kuptsikevich (a name that positively drips with financial seriousness) notes the capitalization chart is recording “a series of lower lows.” My dear, how very descriptive! He warns of a further decline towards $105,000, before the truly dreadful prospect of dropping below that psychological $100,000 barrier. A fate too grim to contemplate over afternoon tea.

Apparently, the “crypto fear index” is back down to 40 – lowest since April. One assumes therapists specialising in digital currencies are currently enjoying a boom.

One remembers 2017 and 2019 as particularly trying Septembers. And, of course, 2021 and 2022. It’s all frightfully…consistent. It’s almost as though someone has a schedule for these little market wobbles. 🧐

And the ETFs! Oh, the ETFs. Outflows of $440 million! Ether, on the other hand, is experiencing inflows. A spot of rotation, you see. Capital, it seems, is behaving with the fickleness of a disgruntled debutante.

Now, there’s talk of non-farm payrolls (whatever those are) and a potential rate cut from the Fed. One lives in hope, naturally. Though experience teaches one not to hold one’s breath. 🥂

Options data suggests a decided preference for ‘puts’ (one assumes those are terribly gloomy things) and a generally bearish outlook. Apparently, one should be cautious… as if we hadn’t already gathered that. Really, the very nerve of it all! 🙄

One really must lie down. This financial news is simply exhausting.

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2025-09-03 10:05