Let me be clear: I’m not anti-AI. I’m anti-hype. There’s a difference. Last week, I tried to explain this to my nephew, who’s “into crypto” and keeps sending me links to “the next Bitcoin.” I said, “Kid, if Jensen Huang himself called AI ‘immense,’ that’s code for ‘we’re all gonna get rich and then cry in a boardroom.'” He didn’t get it. Kids today think “disruption” is a verb and a breakfast food.
Here’s the problem: Everyone’s rushing to pile into AI like it’s a buffet where the salad is free and the meat is just a suggestion. But let’s dissect this. Nvidia’s stock isn’t just riding a tech wave-it’s being propped up by a story. A story where GPUs are the new oil, and everyone’s a refiner. Except, oil’s tangible. You can spill it on your shoe and know you’ve made a mistake. With AI? You just keep pouring money into a spreadsheet until the numbers look like a modern art masterpiece.
Now, I’m not saying AI isn’t transformative. I’m saying the market’s treating it like a done deal, not a hypothesis. Case in point: Last month, I tried to short an AI “junk” fund. The website kept asking if I wanted to “opt into quantum growth alerts.” I nearly choked on my coffee. Quantum growth? That’s like saying your retirement account is “emotionally committed” to performing well. It’s a social rule, Larry: If you’re going to sell financial products, don’t sound like a sci-fi novel written by a marketing intern.
And don’t get me started on the “immense” part. Immense where? In a universe where we’ve all replaced our jobs with robots? Or just… bigger than a breadbox? The vagueness of it! It’s the AI equivalent of a restaurant menu that lists “house specialty” without explaining it’s just last week’s leftovers reheated in a toaster oven. You can’t build a portfolio on buzzwords and bad metaphors.
So here’s my contrarian play: Watch the small-cap AI “enablers” first. When they start using phrases like “asynchronous neural convergence,” run. Fast. And if Nvidia’s stock ever drops 20% in a day, then we’ll talk. Until then, enjoy your quantum growth alerts. I’ll be here, questioning every capitalization I don’t fully understand. 🚀
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2025-08-29 11:09