Nvidia’s AI Alchemy: A Scandalous Stock Prediction

Behold, the comedy of errors known as Nvidia (NVDA)! Here we witness a company so confident in its artifice that it believes itself the author of natural law. Its shares, once a modest trifling, have transformed into a towering edifice of human folly-a 26,960% ascent! A thousand francs scattered carelessly upon the stock market have returned as a hundredfold fortune, while the S&P 500 (that pedestrian, collective sigh of mediocrity) dares but whisper of 391%-a mere hiccup. What alchemy is this? What charlatanry?

One might suppose these heights are now beyond reach, a fortress too lofty for mortal ambition. But lo! Our author, a portfolio manager of ton and discernment, assures us the gates remain unbarred. The AI revolution, that court fool in technicolor, is still in its infancy. And here, the CEO and CFO of Nvidia, twin jesters in the court of shareholder dreams, parley in trillions and gigawatts. Their dialogues are but a vaudeville act: “Behold, 3 to 4 trillion dollars in AI infrastructure! We claim 58-70% of each!” Yes, how charming.

CFO Colette Kress’s Monetary Masquerade

“We are at the beginning of an industrial revolution,” she declares-her voice as grave as a funeral dirge. “By the end of the decade, 3 to 4 trillion dollars shall be squandered on AI!” Note the air quotes: $3 [trillion] to $4 trillion. A presumably conservative estimate. One imagines her audience nodding solemnly, not minding the ambiguity of a “decade”-whether 2029 or 2030. Trivialities, these!

CEO Jensen Huang’s Grandiloquent Gambit

“Out of a gigawatt AI factory, we represent about $35 billion!”

A factory costing $50 to $60 billion! And Nvidia claims nearly half of this machination of madness? Whether 58% or 70%, it is all a game of cabals and counters. The audacity is laughable-yet, the market bows to Goldman Sachs-like gravity.

Macroscope and Microscope: A Treasury of Calculations

Let us now pretend a portfolio manager fares like a bean-counter in some satirical farce. If global AI spending ascends to $3-4 trillion annually by 2030, and Nvidia’s share remains a deus ex machina of 46-56% (after a 20% concession to AMD’s shadowy threat), then annual AI infrastructure revenue shall abide in the $1.38 to $2.24 trillion range. A delightful arithmetic!

Stock Price Targets: A Mathematical Mummery

With a closing price of $183.22 in October-and assuming Nvidia’s valuation remains as steadfast as a kleptomaniac at a bakery-our calculations yield a best-case range of $1,942 to $3,115, a base-case of $1,300 to $2,125. Note the “assumption” of unchanging valuations, which is to say: ignore the mundane reality of presentable growth ratios and pretend optimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Auto Platform: The Punchline?

If the Auto platform’s driverless chariots, those rolling woolly blankets with a penchant for 18th-century manners, progress beyond their current state of pretense, one might adjudge the entire calculation insufficient. Yet let us not lose ourselves in this subplot; it is but a coloratura flourish upon a grand divertissement.

Epilogue: A Closing Curtain Call

Thus, with a beleaguered economy in the wings and a stock market as fickle as a jilted lover, we conclude our analysis with the assurance that Nvidia’s stock, whether in best-case outrage or base-case moderation, shall escalate in multiples so preposterous they might compel even the Bank of America to reconsider its algorithms. And should this madness culminate in a share price of $3,115, remember: a stock split shall be the final jest, for it is no more than a magician’s sleight of hand pastry-smaller in mouthful, no less absurd in the tale.

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2025-10-21 03:12