Newsmax Shares Take a Jolly Little Leap (15% to Be Precise)

On a day when the stock exchange was having the sort of morning one might describe as “neither particularly memorable nor forgettable,” the shares of Newsmax (NMAX) performed a rather sprightly pirouette, leaping 15% into the air like a well-trained spaniel catching a biscuit. This was all due to a certain legal tiff being tidied up, which rather delighted the shareholders, bless their jolly little hearts, and sent the S&P 500 into a state of genteel slumber.

A Dashedly Generous Gesture

It seems that our friends at Newsmax, in a spirit of conciliation and with the grace of a man who’s just remembered to tip the footman, settled a lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems. The matter in question-ah, the drama!-stemmed from Dominion’s 2021 accusation that Newsmax had made certain remarks about their operations that were, to put it kindly, “unflattering.” The sum of £67 million (or as the Americans prefer to call it, $67 million) was agreed upon, to be paid in installments over three fiscal years, much like a subscription to a particularly expensive tea club.

One might wonder if this was a pittance or a princely sum, but when compared to the £1.6 billion Dominion had originally sought (a figure that would have covered the entire annual tea budget of the British royal family and left change for scones), it’s little wonder the investors were in such high spirits. After all, who wouldn’t prefer a modest fee to a financial fiasco?

Loading widget...

The Art of the Settlement, My Dear Fellow

In their official communiqué, Newsmax made it clear that they were not, in their own estimable opinion, in the wrong. “It was critically important,” they declared with the air of a man who’s just discovered he’s the last guest at a dinner party, “for the American people to hear both sides of the election disputes.” One can only assume they meant this as a compliment to the American public’s discernment, though it’s hard to imagine a more delicate way to say, “We’re not apologizing, but we’re also not throwing a party.”

This is not the first time Newsmax has engaged in the art of the settlement. Earlier this year, they parted with £40 million and a five-year warrant for 2,000 shares of preferred stock to Smartmatic, another voting systems company with a grievance. It seems our friends at Newsmax have developed a rather refined taste for the legal equivalent of a genteel afternoon tea-expensive, but with the promise of no arguments.

And so, dear reader, the stock price soared, like a particularly enthusiastic parrot let loose in a bakery. Whether this is the start of a long and prosperous journey or merely a brief flutter of the wings remains to be seen. But for today, the shareholders are smiling, the lawyers are sipping their claret, and the market hums along with the contented air of a well-run garden party. 🚀

Read More

2025-08-19 00:52