Okay, so everyone’s chasing “passive income.” Like that’s even a thing. It’s work, let’s be honest. And now they’re telling me about pipelines? Pipelines! It’s just… transporting stuff. But apparently, if you find the right pipelines, you can get a “yield.” A yield! As if the whole system isn’t rigged. Still, I looked. I had to. Because if everyone is doing it, there’s probably something… irritatingly logical about it. These midstream companies… they’re not exactly glamorous, are they? It’s not like they’re inventing a cure for anything. They just move oil and gas. But, fine. Let’s dissect this, because I have nothing better to do.
The Middlemen. Really?
So, you’ve got the guys who get the oil and gas – the “upstream” people. And then you’ve got the guys who turn it into, I don’t know, plastic sporks – the “downstream” people. And in the middle? These midstream guys. Just… sitting there. Charging a fee. It’s the ultimate in taking a cut. Like a toll booth operator for the energy industry. But here’s the thing – people still need energy. Even if the price of oil goes down, the stuff still has to move. So, they’re somewhat protected. It’s not brilliant, it’s just… not completely stupid. Which, frankly, is a low bar these days.
I looked at three of these outfits. I really did. It’s exhausting.
The Usual Suspects
First, there’s Enbridge (ENB 1.15%). They do everything. Pipelines, utilities, even “clean energy.” Clean energy! Like they’re suddenly saving the planet. It’s diversification. Which means they’re spreading themselves thin. And the yield? A measly 5.6%. It’s the equivalent of getting a lukewarm cup of coffee. They’ve been increasing their dividend for 30 years, apparently. Thirty years. What does that even mean? It just means they haven’t messed it up for 30 years. It’s not a medal of honor.
Then you’ve got Enterprise Products Partners (EPD 0.27%). They’re just pipelines and storage. Focused. I’ll give them that. And a slightly better yield – 6.3%. They’ve been increasing their dividend for 27 years. Okay, so they’re slightly less likely to implode than Enbridge. Still, it’s just… moving stuff. I need a vacation.
And finally, Energy Transfer (ET 1.68%). This one… this one is a mess. 7.1% yield. Sounds good, right? But they cut their dividend in half in 2020! In half! They say they’re “strengthening their balance sheet.” What does that even mean? It means they messed up. And now they’re trying to fix it. They’re promising slow growth now. 3-5% a year. It’s like they’re admitting they were irresponsible. This is the one for the “aggressive” investors, they say. Aggressive? It’s just reckless. Honestly, it’s insulting.
So, What’s the Point?
Look, Enbridge, Enterprise, Energy Transfer… they all move stuff and give you some income. One’s a little more diversified, one’s a little more focused, and one is… well, a bit of a disaster. It all comes down to how much risk you’re willing to tolerate. And frankly, I’m starting to think I need a different hobby. Something less… pipeline-y. Maybe birdwatching. At least birds aren’t trying to nickel and dime you with “yields.”
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2026-02-03 09:12