Microsoft (MSFT 10.23%) closed down nearly ten percent today. I watched the numbers scroll across the screen, and it reminded me of my new thermostat. Smart, they call it. It learns my habits, predicts my needs. Except it keeps turning the heat up to seventy-two degrees in January, convinced I’m secretly a desert tortoise. Like Microsoft’s Azure cloud, which is apparently growing, just…not fast enough for some people. Apparently, double-digit growth isn’t impressive anymore. It’s like being a very good tortoise. People expect cheetah speeds. Trading volume was, and I checked this because I was avoiding a phone call from my mother, 126.5 million shares. That’s a lot of shares. More shares than I have socks, and I have a sock problem.
How the Markets Moved Today
The S&P 500 dipped a fraction, and the Nasdaq Composite followed suit. It all feels very…performative, doesn’t it? Like a polite disagreement at a cocktail party. Apple managed a small gain, as did Alphabet. They seem to be handling this whole “growth expectations” thing with a bit more grace. Or maybe they’re just better at pretending. I’m starting to suspect that’s all it is. Pretending.
What This Means for Investors
Microsoft’s earnings were up seventeen percent, earnings per share up twenty-four percent. Easily beat expectations. And yet, the stock sold off. It’s a bit like baking a perfect cake and then having your family tell you they’re on a cleanse. The Intelligent Cloud unit is doing well – up twenty-nine percent, which, frankly, sounds exhausting. But the market is fixated on capital expenditures. Apparently, Microsoft spent a lot of money on CPUs and GPUs. Two-thirds of their capex was on those things. It feels a bit like buying a top-of-the-line blender and then realizing you only ever make smoothies.
Now, the stock is trading at twenty-six times forward earnings. Is that extreme? I don’t know. I’m not a financial advisor. I’m just a man trying to understand why my thermostat thinks I’m a reptile. But here’s what I think: the market wants a return on investment, and they want it now. They want to see those CPUs and GPUs churning out…something. Maybe a better algorithm for predicting my heating preferences. Or, you know, actual profit. It’s a simple request, really. Just a little warmth. A little growth. A little less pressure to be a cheetah.
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2026-01-30 01:12