Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin Hoard Surpasses Half a Million: Even Siberia Feels the FOMO! 🚀💸

The frost-bitten ledger grows ever heavier. Strategy, in the unyielding march of accumulation—no, not of bread, nor perhaps of honest potatoes—has scooped up yet another paltry 1,895 Bitcoin, tossing $180.3 million into the black-gloved hands of fate as if it were pocket change lost between fateful gulags. Average price? $95,167 each. Some men count sheep in the dead of night; others dream in digital scarcity, most of all that eternally unsleeping Saylor.

And so, the company’s storehouse bulges with 555,450 BTC—a number so grotesque it makes one suspect the accountants have begun to hallucinate from lack of sunlight. The entire stash cost a mere $38.08 billion, which, in ordinary times, would have been enough to buy approximately two Russias or at least a decent Moscow apartment during a housing slump. Average price? $68,550 per shiny coin—cheaper than hope, dearer than cynicism.

May 4th, 2025—Strategy’s keepers, not yet exiled to digital tundra, report a year-to-date yield on their Bitcoin pile of 14.0%. “Commitment” they call it; sheer stubbornness, perhaps, or a certain cheerful nihilism masked as foresight. The asset that never sleeps, like the Siberian wind—how sweet its chill must feel on the balance sheet.

Read More

2025-05-05 15:28