Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin Antics: Is Gamestop the Next Crypto Titan?

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In a spectacular display of audacity that would leave even the boldest of card sharks quaking in their boots, Michael Saylor, the grand poobah of Microstrategy (renamed to simply “Strategy,” perhaps in a fit of branding whimsy), has ignited a veritable firestorm of debate with his latest poll. It suggests that the beleaguered Gamestop needs to acquire over $3 billion in Bitcoin if it wishes to slink its way into the good graces of BTC aficionados.

Can Gamestop Meet BTC Expectations? Saylor’s Poll Has Them Sweating!

Saylor, all of 4.2 million admirers strong on the social media platform X, set forth this poll on the illustrious day of March 26—a day that may forever be remembered as the day Gamestop was put on the proverbial spot. His question was simple yet devilishly intriguing: just how much Bitcoin would this beleaguered gaming retailer need to nab in order to convince the skeptics?

In stunning fashion, Saylor presented four increasingly ludicrous options. The pièce de résistance, the $3 billion “King Move,” was the runaway leader, claiming a staggering 47% of the votes. The mere $1 billion “Tesla Tier” picked up a somewhat respectable 31.4%, while the $250 million “MSTR Starter Kit,” a nostalgic nudge to Microstrategy’s own dalliance with Bitcoin in 2020, attracted a mere 15.8%. And as for the $50 million “Just LARPing” option, only 5.8% of the good folk thought that paltry sum might suffice. Nearly 1 million curious onlookers swung by to gawk at the spectacle.

But lo and behold! Just the very next day, Gamestop, ever the drama queen, unveiled its own bitcoin strategy. They declared, with all the flair of a magician revealing his final trick, that their board had unanimously decreed it wise to add Bitcoin as a treasure reserve asset! Because obviously, that’s what every failing retail chain needs: a healthy smattering of cryptocurrency amidst their dwindling cash reserves!

In the grand tradition of financial chicanery, Gamestop announced plans to raise a whopping $1.3 billion through the sale of convertible senior notes, with the distinct possibility of an additional $200 million, just to keep things spicy. No doubt, this decision will surely inspire the confidence needed from investors to finance their new Bitcoin escapade, or at least cause a collective facepalm among the more prudent financiers.

Meanwhile, Saylor’s Strategy was not about to be left in the dust. On March 24, they proudly managed to *acquire* 6,911 BTC for a staggering $584.1 million. One can’t help but admire their unyielding enthusiasm; after all, who wouldn’t want to spend their corporate budget on something as solid as cryptocurrency in a world of market uncertainty?

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2025-03-28 04:00