Meta’s Numbers & My Relatives

I’ve been staring at these quarterly reports from Meta, and it reminds me of my Aunt Carol attempting to explain cryptocurrency. A lot of jargon, a vague sense of unease, and the nagging suspicion that I’m missing something obvious. Everyone’s chasing this AI thing, throwing money at it like it’s confetti. Meta, though, they’ve been doing the algorithm thing for years. It’s like they’ve been quietly perfecting the art of knowing what you want before you do, which, frankly, is a little unsettling. It’s the digital equivalent of your mother knowing exactly which cardigan you’ll regret not bringing on vacation.

The numbers, when they finally landed on my screen after the market closed Wednesday, were…clean. $59.9 billion in revenue. A solid 24% jump year over year. Earnings per share at $8.88. Wall Street was expecting something less, which is always nice. It’s like when you tell your boss you’ll need a week to finish a project, and you secretly manage it in three. A little win for yourself, a little buffer in case the inevitable disaster strikes.

They’ve got 3.58 billion daily active users. That’s…a lot of people. More people than have ever attended a family reunion, and considerably less drama, I assume. This, of course, translates into ad revenue. It’s a simple equation, really: more eyeballs, more money. They’re getting better at showing you ads for things you didn’t even know you wanted, but suddenly need. It’s insidious, but effective. My own mother, bless her, now believes she requires a self-stirring soup pot. Thanks, algorithm.

Zuckerberg mentioned they’re leaning into AI. Predictable. They’re planning to spend between $115 and $135 billion on capital expenditures by 2026, mostly on AI infrastructure. That’s…a commitment. It’s like deciding to build a guest house instead of addressing the leaky roof. Ambitious, maybe a little reckless, but undeniably attention-grabbing.

What’s particularly interesting is their ability to scale down these large language models. They’re making AI smaller, more efficient, and apparently, more profitable. It’s a surprisingly elegant solution. They’re not trying to build the biggest AI, just the one that works best at convincing you to buy things. A subtle distinction, but a crucial one.

Then there’s Reality Labs. Ah, Reality Labs. The metaverse. The smart glasses. The augmented and virtual reality products. CFO Susan Li mentioned that losses for Reality Labs will be “similar to 2025 levels.” Which is to say, still substantial. They’ve poured over $19 billion into this segment, and it’s still bleeding money. It’s like my uncle’s attempt to start a llama farm. A noble endeavor, perhaps, but ultimately doomed to failure.

But the forecast for the first quarter is encouraging. They’re predicting revenue of $55 billion, representing a 30% year-over-year growth. Wall Street was expecting $51.4 billion. So, things are looking up. Or at least, not actively collapsing.

Meta is, at this point, one of the clearest examples of a company successfully leveraging AI to boost results in near real-time. They’re investing in infrastructure, building for the future. And, with a price-to-earnings ratio of less than 30, it’s a relatively low-risk way to participate in the AI revolution. Which is to say, it’s less terrifying than betting on the llama farm.

2026-01-29 02:23

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