Masimo? Seriously?

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So, Naya Capital Management, they’re buying Masimo. 1.6 million shares. What is this, a clearance sale on pulse oximeters? Honestly, it’s just… a lot. Like, do they need that many? Is there some sort of oxygen-monitoring crisis I haven’t been informed about? It’s always something, isn’t it?

They dropped $203 million on this. Two-hundred-and-three million dollars. For a company whose stock was, let’s be honest, going nowhere fast. Down 2.6% over a year while the rest of the market was having a party. It’s like they saw a slightly dented can of soup on the shelf and decided it was a sound investment. I mean, people are buying this stuff?

And now Danaher’s swooping in to buy the whole thing for $9.9 billion. Of course. That’s how these things work. Someone buys low, someone else buys high, and I’m left wondering why everyone isn’t just sitting at home reading a book. It’s a perfectly good option, you know? No risk involved.

Apparently, this makes Masimo a significant chunk – 15.3% – of Naya’s portfolio. Fifteen-point-three percent! That’s… commitment. Or maybe it’s desperation. It’s hard to tell. It’s like putting all your eggs in a basket woven from… well, from medical monitoring equipment. A very fragile basket.

Let’s look at the numbers, because that’s what people like, right? They like numbers. $9.4 billion market cap. $1.7 billion in revenue. And a loss of $203.8 million. A loss! They’re losing money! And someone’s still buying? It’s infuriating. Absolutely infuriating. It’s like they’re actively trying to lose money.

They also own a bunch of other stuff: HUM, UNH, WWD, FWONK. Honestly, the ticker symbols alone are giving me a headache. It’s all just…noise. A cacophony of financial acronyms. I swear, they just throw darts at a board with stock tickers on it.

So, here’s my advice? Stay away. Seriously. The only upside left is if you already owned Masimo stock. For everyone else, it’s just a waiting game for the inevitable. If the deal goes through, you’ve got a small profit. If it doesn’t…well, you’re left holding the bag. A bag full of overpriced pulse oximeters. And frankly, I’ve got better things to do with my time.

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2026-02-19 16:22