Lost Bitcoin, Found Regrets: Dogecoin Founder Feels the Pain

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Billy Markus, better known as Shibetoshi Nakamoto (or as I like to call him, the Doge Whisperer), is one half of the dynamic duo behind Dogecoin. Yes, the very same Dogecoin that started as a joke and ended up becoming the punchline to a much larger, more existential joke about the universe’s sense of humor.

In a recent post on the intergalactic communication platform X (formerly known as Twitter, or as I like to call it, the place where dreams go to argue with strangers), Markus shared an image that would make even the most stoic of time travelers weep into their space-time lattes. The headline? A poor soul lost a staggering amount of Bitcoin 12 years ago. We’re talking enough Bitcoin to make you a multimillionaire, or as I like to say, enough to buy a small moon.

DOGE Creator Weighs In on the Great Bitcoin Vanish

The image, a masterpiece of modern tragedy, features a gargantuan garbage dump and a forlorn figure hunched over a desktop computer. The news title proclaims that after 12 years of searching, the individual who lost $742 million worth of Bitcoin on a hard drive has finally given up. Or has he? The plot thickens like a bowl of space pudding left too long in zero gravity.

One curious commentator summoned the Grok AI chatbot, the digital oracle of our times, for enlightenment. Grok, in its infinite wisdom, revealed that the tragic hero in question is none other than James Howells, who misplaced a hard drive containing 8,000 Bitcoins back in 2013. However, the AI also noted that reports of Howells throwing in the towel are about as reliable as a hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy-mixed at best.

Today, those 8,000 Bitcoins would be worth a cool $713,240,560. Enough to buy a fleet of spaceships, or at least a really nice sandwich in the year 3026.

Markus, ever the man of few but poignant words, tweeted: “I know the feeling.” A statement so laden with regret it could sink a spaceship. One can’t help but wonder if the Dogecoin founder is secretly mourning the Bitcoin he didn’t hoard back when it was cheaper than a cup of coffee. Last year, he revealed his Bitcoin holdings: a whopping 0.003 BTC, or roughly $267.48. Enough to buy a cup of coffee, but not much else.

i know the feeling

– Shibetoshi Nakamoto (@BillyM2k) January 23, 2026

Tim Draper: The Accidental Bitcoin Pioneer

Meanwhile, in a galaxy not so far away, famous tech investor Tim Draper (the man who backed Skype, Tesla, and SpaceX, or as I like to call him, the guy who’s probably got a spaceship in his garage) shared his Bitcoin origin story on X. Draper first bought Bitcoin at $4 per coin-over a decade ago. His reason? Not because he understood blockchain (he didn’t) or saw the future (he couldn’t), but because someone explained how digital currency could change the world for people without access to traditional banking. A noble cause, or as I like to say, a classic case of being in the right place at the right time with the right amount of disposable income.

I initially bought Bitcoin for $4 per coin.

Not because I understood the tech (I didn’t).

Not because I saw the future (I couldn’t).

But because someone explained how digital currency could change the world for people who didn’t have traditional banking access.

I had…

– Tim Draper (@TimDraper) January 22, 2026

Draper invested $250,000 in Bitcoin after putting the same amount into CoinLab. He then lost his first BTC in the infamous Mt. Gox hack, a disaster so legendary it’s taught in intergalactic business schools. But ever the optimist, he bought more. Because in the world of crypto, the only thing more abundant than regret is hope.

And so, as we ponder the fate of lost Bitcoins and the fortunes they could have made, let us remember the words of the great philosopher Douglas Adams: “Don’t panic.” Unless, of course, you’ve just realized you threw away a hard drive with 8,000 Bitcoins on it. In that case, panic is not only allowed but highly recommended.

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2026-01-23 18:54