Larry David’s Take on Crypto Exchange Gate’s US Debut 🤷‍♂️

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So, I hear this cryptocurrency exchange called Gate is finally making its way to the good ol’ US of A. Like, what took them so long? They’ve been around since 2013, and it’s only now they’re thinking, “Hey, maybe we should try this whole ‘serving American customers’ thing.” 🙄

Gate Finally Joins the US Crypto Party 🎉

According to their press release on August 1, Gate is officially open for business in the United States. They say they’ve “tailored” their spot trading services to cater to the needs of US customers. Tailored? More like they finally bothered to read the room. 📜

And let’s not forget, this isn’t just a random decision. It’s all because the US government decided to get its act together and actually make some sense of the crypto world. President Trump even signed the GENIUS Act into law. Who knew he had a brain for tech? 🧠

Lin Han, the founder of Gate, had this to say:

“The launch of Gate US marks a significant milestone in our global compliance and localized service strategy. We firmly believe the future of the crypto industry lies in deep integration with local markets. Gate Group remains committed to building a trusted global crypto service network—driven by technology and centered on the user.”

Oh, how touching. I’m sure the users are just thrilled to be at the center of this. 😂 But wait, Gate isn’t alone in this crypto homecoming. Crypto exchange OKX also decided to come back after settling a $505 million lawsuit with the DOJ. Talk about a welcome-back gift! 🎁

However, it’s not all roses for Gate. According to CoinGecko, their trading volume dropped by over 11% in the past 24 hours. Maybe the market is saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” to the new kid on the block. 🙅‍♂️

SEC Chair: Bring Back the Crypto Exiles 🚀

With all these firms returning or entering the US market, SEC Chair Paul Atkins is calling for a “reshoring” of crypto businesses that left when the regulations were murky. Like, “Come on back, we promise we won’t confuse you anymore!” 🤞

And if that wasn’t enough, US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent declared that the US is entering a “golden age of crypto.” He’s practically inviting everyone to set up shop here. “Start your companies here. Launch your protocols here. And hire your workers here,” he tweeted. Sounds like a commercial for a new city, doesn’t it? 🏙️

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2025-08-03 04:14