Ken Griffin’s Stock Picks: A Contrarian’s Take

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So there’s this man, Ken Griffin. He has more money than most countries. Citadel Advisors, the hedge fund he founded, is like one of those machines that prints gold coins while you sleep-except it doesn’t always work out for everyone else. And yet here we are, peering into his portfolio as though it holds some cosmic secret to happiness. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. So it goes.

The SEC makes people like Griffin disclose their stock holdings every quarter. These disclosures, called 13F filings, are treated by many investors as though they’re sacred texts handed down from Mount Sinai. But let me tell you something about sacred texts-they rarely mention Charles Schwab or Keurig Dr Pepper. Here’s what Griffin’s hoarding these days, in case you were wondering:

The top five

You’d think a guy with billions would have fancier tastes. Instead, his largest positions read like a grocery list written by someone who just got back from a mediocre brunch. Alas, here they are:

  • Charles Schwab (SCHW): This financial services giant sits at the top of Griffin’s pile, making up about 1.6% of his stock portfolio. Schwab helps people trade stocks, which is ironic because now you’re reading about Griffin trading Schwab. It’s like watching a snake eat its own tail. So it goes.
  • Invesco QQQ Trust (QQQ): An ETF tracking the Nasdaq-100, this accounts for 1.1% of Citadel’s holdings. The Nasdaq-100 is full of tech darlings, but Griffin isn’t holding them individually-he’s buying the whole buffet. Maybe he knows something we don’t. Or maybe he’s just tired of picking sides. Who can say?
  • Edwards Lifesciences (EW): Heart valves. That’s what Edwards does. It fixes hearts-or tries to, anyway. Hearts are tricky things, both literal and metaphorical. Griffin owns 1% of his portfolio in this company, perhaps hoping to mend Wall Street’s broken ticker. Good luck with that.
  • Medtronic (MDT): Another medical device maker, Medtronic builds gadgets to keep humans alive longer. Its share of Citadel’s portfolio? A modest 0.8%. If you squint hard enough, you might see Griffin hedging his bets on humanity’s survival. Either that, or he needed diversification beyond coffee pods.
  • Keurig Dr Pepper (KDP): Ah, yes, beverages. From heart valves to soda, Griffin runs the gamut of human needs. KDP makes up 0.7% of his holdings. Maybe he figures if civilization collapses, at least we’ll still have caffeine and sugary drinks to console us. Cheers to small comforts.

And then there was Hess. Hess used to be Griffin’s second-largest position until Chevron came along and bought it for $55 billion in an all-stock deal. Now Griffin might be sitting on a big chunk of Chevron shares, assuming he didn’t sell them already. Will Chevron become his new darling? Who knows? The universe tends to laugh at our predictions. So it goes.

Here’s the thing about following billionaires’ stock picks: it’s like trying to replicate Picasso’s brushstrokes without understanding art. Sure, you can mimic the motions, but the soul won’t be there. Griffin’s choices may look impressive on paper, but remember-he’s playing a different game than you are. His stakes are higher, his risks colder, his worldview darker. And maybe, just maybe, he’s laughing at all of us trying to follow along. 🫠

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2025-08-11 23:17