Why is it that every time someone says “flying car,” I immediately think of a lawnmower with wings? Joby Aviation (JOBY) seems to think otherwise, announcing Friday it’s joining the White House’s eVTOL Integration Pilot Program. Great. Now I’ll have to explain to my therapist why the phrase “electric vertical takeoff” keeps triggering flashbacks to that one time I tried to parallel park.
Joby’s stock jumped 5.7% by 10:10 a.m. ET. Classic market logic: If you can’t solve a problem, add more bureaucracy and call it “certification.”
The Art of Flying Through Bureaucracy
The eIPP-pronounced “ee-ipp,” not “epp”-was launched via executive order in June. The White House promised to “test flying cars,” which sounds exciting until you realize it means the FAA and DOT will now spend years debating whether a vehicle that hasn’t flown at scale can, in theory, fly at scale. Joby claims this program lets them start operations before full certification. Which is… generous. Like saying you can serve dinner before the kitchen is built.
Joby insists it’s the “most mature” eVTOL company, with 600 test flights in 2025 and 40,000 miles logged. Impressive, if your idea of maturity is repeatedly circling the same patch of sky like a confused seagull. They’re in stage four of FAA certification, which is either a triumph or a reminder that the FAA’s idea of “stage four” is “we’ve forgotten what stage one was.”
A Buy? Let’s Not Get Carried Away
Analysts expect Joby to turn a profit by 2031. That’s seven years from now. For context, I’m not even sure what I’ll be eating for breakfast in 2031. Until then, this stock is less “investment” and more “gamble dressed in a suit.” The market seems to love it, though. Nothing says “trust us” like a company that’s flown 600 times but still needs the government to pretend certification isn’t a thing.
If you’re buying JOBY, you’re not just betting on flying cars. You’re betting that no one will remember how many times these things have crashed into trees, missed runways, or required a pilot with a PhD in aerospace engineering. Good luck with that. 🚁
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2025-09-12 18:27