- S&P declares Tether’s fondness for Bitcoin a threat to its stability, much like a maiden aunt’s fondness for blancmange.
- The agency has downgraded USDT’s reserves from “constrained,” akin to a tweedy down-at-heel club, to “weak,” like a puny cucumber sandwich.
- Tether, quite unexpectedly, fires back with alacrity, claiming its balance sheet is as robust as Psmith’s bowler hat and far superior to the frailties of Old Money.
In what seems more like the plot of a quiet parliamentary affair rather than a financial debauchery, the agency took umbrage not with the peg itself, but the blossoming romance Tether has cultivated with Bitcoin.
Why the Downgrade Happened?
In its typically stodgy manner, S&P bemoaned that Tether’s financial arrangments-while spruced up with mentions of U.S. Treasury bills-boast a more colorful bouquet of assets. Think corporate gumball, secured loans, the odd glittering bauble, and, more critically, a burgeoning bounty of Bitcoin.
Worryingly, should Bitcoin suddenly perform a nosedive more startling than a plummeting lead brick, the financial sausages could get in a terrible jamb, with rattled USDT holders scurrying to a head start.
The Bitcoin Allocation Loves-show
Laying eyes on Tether’s latest transparency report one might hear the clink and clatter of numbers: a whopping 87,700 BTC! This digital hoard, equivalent to 5.4% of its reserves, ascends from the more modest 3.6% previous, much like an unexpected inheritance. With USDT’s market cap north of $184 billion, any Bitcoin scuttle could send peculiar ripples through the financial pond.
S&P’s trusted analysts, Rebecca Mun and Mohamed Damak, opined that the flip side of an ill-fated Bitcoin scenario could leave USDT as undercollateralized as an unadopted pigeon-coverage not from Treasury notes, but from the unstable hoarding beside them.
Tether’s Sprightly Refutation
Tether, fed up with the incessant tut-tutting from traditional finance, fired back with a fervor matching the indignant Jeeves at his prime. Paolo Ardoino, the company’s spokesman, dismissed the critique as the kind of financial inquisition more hostile than Aunt Agatha’s take on pudding. Tether, he claims, boasts a war chest brimming with surplus, utterly devoid of the distasteful debt synonymous with teetering legacy vaults.
In his jujitsu-like countermove, Ardoino posited that Tether stands not only a contender but a champion in the alternative finance arena, dazzling without the crutch of archaic banking, and aplomb at that.
What Mighty Will Come?
The frowny-faced downgrade doesn’t demand Tether alter its allocations, but whispers suggest it could propel a demand for full independent audits-something ardently opposed till now. The subsequent course of USDT will depend less on auditors’ frowns than on Bitcoin’s performance amid the financial high seas.
Note: Thecontent herein is purely for intellectual amusement and should not be mistaken for financial counsel. Kindly perform diligent research or consult a bona fide financial advisor before venturing into the unknown waters of investment.
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2025-11-27 09:57