How to Turn Nearly a Billion Dollars into Bitcoin: The Stride Method

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What to know:

  • So, Strategy (yes, that’s really its name) has cooked up a new preferred stock offering—brilliantly called Series A Perpetual Stride Preferred Stock (STRD). This is designed to keep investors with a fondness for future money, a tidy 10% annual return, no strings attached. Well, almost. No management fees either, so you can sleep soundly knowing you’re not paying extra for the privilege of being a very patient piggy bank.
  • They’re planning to flog 11.76 million shares at a cool $85 each. All told, this could rack up nearly a billion (that’s $979.7 million, to be precise) after fees, which is a lot of zeros, even for people who like zeros.
  • The cash is earmarked for, among other things, acquiring more bitcoin—because what better way to diversify your portfolio than by mining ‘digital gold‘ while trying not to lose sleep over the volatility?

Strategy (or MSTR if you prefer, or perhaps just “the bitcoin conglomerate” during lunch) is the biggest corporate bitcoin holder this side of an Icelandic volcano. Its latest scheme? Offering a new preferred stock, which guarantees a shiny 10% yearly return—no management fees, no fuss.

The firm will sell 11.76 million of its fancy new shares of STRD—short, simple, and hopefully profitable. Expect the money to roll in after fees, around $979.7 million. The shares will officially start trading on June 10, which is very soon, unless you miss the boat—or the boat sinks, which it might, given the volatile seas of crypto.

These shares sit below Strategy’s other preferred offerings, STRF and STRK, which is investment banker-speak for “these are the ones you should worry less about.” Unlike the senior, less exciting STRF and the convertibly charming STRK (which pays 8%), STRD is the high-yield daredevil—riskier, but potentially more rewarding, like betting on a rollercoaster with NO seatbelts.

Oh, and about dividends: they’re non-cumulative, meaning if they forget to pay you this quarter, tough luck—your dividends won’t stack up like a financial snowball. They’re paid only when the board remembers, or when the planets align.

And the grand plan? Use the cash to buy more bitcoin, naturally. Because nothing screams “steady investment” quite like digital currency at its most unpredictable.

Meanwhile, the company’s shares are already up 1.7% pre-market—probably because everyone secretly hopes to cash in before the whole thing turns into a digital dust cloud at $375 a share.

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2025-06-06 14:53