Okay, so gold. Everybody’s talking about gold. It’s gone up. A lot. Like, suspiciously a lot. It’s not even a smooth climb, it’s these little jerks upward. It hit five thousand, and now it’s just…there. Honestly, it’s less about the money and more about the principle of the thing. You’d think something that’s supposed to be a safe haven would, you know, behave like one. Steady. Predictable. Not this…twitching.
And the streak. Eight months. Eight! That’s just…showing off. It’s like someone decided to intentionally make everyone nervous. I mean, what’s the point of a safe haven if it’s going to do this? It’s supposed to be boring. That’s the whole idea! It’s like ordering decaf coffee and they give you an extra shot of espresso. What am I supposed to do with that?
| Month | Return |
|---|---|
| July 2025 | 1% |
| August 2025 | 4% |
| September 2025 | 12% |
| October 2025 | 4% |
| November 2025 | 5% |
| December 2025 | 2% |
| January 2026 | 10% |
| February 2026 | 3% |
Everybody keeps saying it’s a ‘safe haven.’ Fine. But it doesn’t mean it gets to be obnoxious. The S&P 500? It does whatever it wants, sure. At least it has the decency to be consistently disappointing. Gold just… flits around. It’s uncorrelated, they say. Great. So it’s just arbitrarily making things more complicated. It’s reacting to everything and nothing. Like a teenager.
And this happened before, apparently. 2008. Eight months of climbing. Then… well, you remember 2008. It’s like the universe is trying to tell us something. Or maybe it’s just messing with us. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past it.
Is gold signaling another major bear market?
Look, I’m not saying gold is trying to ruin everything. But it’s not helping. Treasury yields were falling then, too. Double risk-off signal? Great. Just what we need. More signals. It’s like everyone’s trying to predict the future, and nobody can even agree on what day it is. And then the S&P peaked right before everything went south. Perfect timing, gold. Just perfect.
So, is this a sign of things to come? Maybe. The labor market is weak. That’s not a surprise. But nobody wants to admit it. They’re all focused on AI. AI this, AI that. Like that’s going to fix everything. It’s a distraction. A shiny object. And meanwhile, people are losing their jobs. It’s infuriating.
And the S&P is still hanging in there. For now. But that could change. Any minute. It’s like waiting for a shoe to drop. And gold is just…standing there, smugly. It knows something we don’t. It always does. It’s just…it’s a whole thing. A very annoying thing.
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2026-03-10 09:32