ETH’s Bounce? More Like a Yawn! 🐢🔥

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Oh, Ethereum’s bouncing again? What a shock! It’s like watching a toddler try to walk-so close to a breakthrough, yet always just… almost there. The market’s so indecisive, it’s got more personality than a dating profile. Until ETH clears $3,550, it’s just a fancy “pause” in the drama. Because nothing says “bullish” like a 50/50 chance of a 10% drop. 🤷♂️

Sideways Correction Still Dominates Ethereum’s Structure

According to “More Crypto Online,” Ethereum’s stuck in a sideways corrective structure since November 21. It’s like a broken treadmill-no progress, just a lot of sweating. Price is capped below the channel, which means the market’s still in “wait, is this a bear or a bull?” mode. 🧠💸

At this point, a break above the channel is the minimum requirement for a real breakout. But even if ETH jumps, don’t get excited. It’s probably just a yellow B-wave or a fancy circle wave 4. Because why would anything be straightforward? 🤯

To make the bullish scenario credible, ETH needs to reclaim $3,550. Which it won’t. Because why would it? The market’s a joke, and we’re all just here for the punchline. 🤡

Until then, expect another downside test. Because nothing says “confidence” like a 70% chance of a 15% drop. 📉

ETH Mirrors Bitcoin’s Range-Bound Behavior

Ethereum’s now mirroring Bitcoin’s range-bound behavior. Like a broken record, it’s stuck between $2,700 and $3,400. It’s so stagnant, even a toaster could predict it. But hey, at least it’s not completely useless. 🍞

Recent support at $2,600 sparked a bounce. But don’t get too excited-it’s just a temporary reprieve. If ETH breaks below $2,700, the party’s over. Because nothing says “recovery” like a 20% crash. 🚨

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2025-12-29 20:42