Ethereum has been having one of those years where it’s either the star of the show or the guy who forgot to RSVP. Early on, it stumbled like someone tripping over their own feet at a black-tie event while Bitcoin strutted in like it owned the place. Then Ethereum rallied, climbing from $1,500 to $4,800-a decent effort if you ignore the fact that it now trades at $4,200, which feels like winning a race only to get stuck in traffic. But let’s not dwell on the details; Wall Street analyst Geoff Kendrick is already drafting a press release declaring Ethereum a 525% winner by 2028. How quaint.
Momentum Remains Stronger Than My Will to Understand Stablecoins
The Bitcoin treasury trend-where companies raise money just to buy Bitcoin-was the equivalent of everyone at a party clinking their glasses with the same person. Now, it’s Ethereum’s turn, and Kendrick claims it’s happening twice as fast. If that’s true, I’d like to know where the “slow” version of buying cryptocurrency is held. Is it a museum? A monastery? A Zoom call?
Kendrick also mentions the U.S. Genius Act, a law that somehow makes stablecoins sound less like a scam and more like a government-sanctioned trust fund. Stablecoins are supposed to be the polite cousin of crypto-no wild swings, just steady as a clock. But let’s be honest: if you can’t trust a coin that’s pegged to the dollar, what’s next? Pegging it to a loaf of bread? A subway token? A TikTok dance?
Ethereum’s developers plan to boost network throughput by tenfold, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s just adding more lanes to a highway where everyone’s driving a Prius. Meanwhile, stablecoins make up 40% of Ethereum’s fees-a number that makes me wonder if we’re paying for convenience or just better marketing. Either way, Kendrick’s price targets-$7,500 by year-end, $25,000 by 2028-feel less like financial analysis and more like a man yelling at a dartboard until it agrees with him.
Can Ethereum Hit $25K? Can I Hit a Mute Button Before This Call Ends?
Kendrick is one of the few Wall Street analysts who treat crypto like stocks, which is either brave or delusional. Most of us don’t value things by how much they make people scream in chatrooms. But here’s the thing: I agree with his catalysts. More stablecoin usage and institutional interest are like adding Wi-Fi to a toaster-suddenly, it’s the future. But let’s not confuse correlation with causation. Just because Ethereum processes more transactions doesn’t mean it’s immune to the crypto flu, which hits every 18 months like clockwork.
I’m not here to predict prices. That’s what horoscopes are for. But if you’re going to buy Ethereum, do it for the long game. Not because some analyst thinks it’ll hit $25K, but because it’s the only crypto that doesn’t make me want to throw my phone out the window. Again.
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2025-10-01 11:45