Oh, Ethereum (ETH), you saucy minx, sitting pretty below $3,100 like you’re waiting for a bus that may or may not arrive. 🚌 A slight dip in the last 24 hours? Darling, that’s just you adjusting your tiara. 👑 The $3,000 level is holding strong, but let’s be real-you’re as directionless as a millennial at a career fair. 🎢
Between $2,800 and $4,100: The Crypto No Man’s Land 🌵
Daan Crypto Trades (fancy name, Daan) says you’re stuck between $2,800 and $4,100 like a bad Tinder date. 💔 $2,800 is your safety net, and $4,100 is that ceiling you keep bumping your head on. 🛑 Since 2022, you’ve been bouncing around like a ping-pong ball at a frat party. 🏓 Will you break free? Or are you just here for the snacks?
On the bright side, Michaël van de Poppe (yes, another crypto oracle) says your ETH/BTC chart is holding above its 20-day moving average. 🎉 But let’s not pop the champagne just yet-it’s like celebrating because you remembered to water your plant once. 🌱 Still, baby steps, right?
Apparently, you’ve been “doing well” since July 2025. Doing well? Sweetie, that’s like saying your ex is “doing well” because they finally stopped crying into their cereal. 🥣 Let’s see if you can keep it together in the next few weeks. 💅
$3,000: Your Safety Blanket or a Trap? 🛌
Analyst Ted (just Ted? Really?) says you’re clinging to $3,000 like it’s the last slice of pizza. 🍕 Dip below $3,050? No worries, you bounced back faster than a Kardashian after a scandal. 💃 If you stay above $3,000, Ted says you could hit $3,300-$3,400. But if you slip? Oh honey, $2,800 is waiting with open arms. 🤲
And let’s not forget the weekend drama-Bitcoin was crying in the corner, but you? You held it together like a boss. 👑 But CryptoPotato says if selling returns, you might revisit $2,500. Because why not add a little chaos to the mix? 🎉
Merlijn The Trader (yes, Merlijn) is here with his long-range chart, saying you’re in Wave 2 of some fancy upward channel. 🌊 Wave 3? Oh, that’s the breakout phase, darling. 🚀 If you play your cards right, $7,800 could be your next stop. But let’s be honest, you’re probably just going to take a nap first. 😴
“$ETH is entering vertical mode. You either catch it… or chase it.”
Catch it? Chase it? Sweetie, I’m just here for the memes. 🍿
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2025-12-15 18:27