ETFs: Mostly Harmless Investments

The universe, as anyone who’s spent more than five minutes contemplating it will tell you, is a profoundly improbable place. And yet, here we are, attempting to predict the future performance of bits of paper representing ownership in other, equally improbable, entities. It’s a bit like trying to herd quarks, really. But occasionally, a system emerges from the chaos, and that’s where Exchange Traded Funds, or ETFs, come in. They’re not perfect, mind you (nothing is, unless you’re a particularly optimistic amoeba), but they can be a rather sensible way to participate in the ongoing, slightly alarming, experiment that is global finance.

The challenge, naturally, isn’t finding ETFs. It’s finding the right ones. There are more ETFs than there are varieties of tea (and that’s saying something, considering the British Empire was built on the stuff). So, let’s consider a couple that, while not guaranteeing immortality or a free trip to Alpha Centauri, might just provide a reasonable return on investment over the long term. We’ll look at the Invesco QQQ Fund (QQQ 0.36%) and the Vanguard Growth Index Fund (VUG 0.48%). Because, frankly, staring into the abyss of endless investment options is exhausting, even for a seasoned observer of market absurdities.

Invesco QQQ Fund

The Invesco QQQ Fund is, in essence, a collection of the top 100 non-financial companies listed on the Nasdaq. Think of it as a curated selection of companies that are, for the moment, winning the game of capitalism. (Though, given the inherent randomness of the universe, “winning” is a rather fluid concept.) It tracks the Nasdaq-100 index, which is a bit like choosing the fastest snails in a race – still snails, but at least they’re making a concerted effort. Its expense ratio is 0.18%, which, in the grand scheme of things, is a relatively small price to pay for access to a basket of potentially high-growth companies. Over the past decade, it’s increased by over 510%, which is significantly better than the 270% you’d have seen tracking the S&P 500. That’s a substantial difference, although it doesn’t account for the existential dread that often accompanies watching market fluctuations.

Loading widget...

Focusing on the top Nasdaq stocks means you’re largely exposed to the technology sector (about 64% of the portfolio). This can introduce volatility, naturally. (The market, after all, is frequently driven by irrational exuberance and equally irrational panic.) But it also offers the potential for oversized returns. It’s a bit like riding a rocket – exhilarating, terrifying, and occasionally prone to unexpected trajectory changes. In the short term, expect bumps. In the long run, this fund is a reasonably sensible choice for growth investors.

Vanguard Growth Index Fund

The Vanguard Growth Index Fund offers a slightly broader diversification, holding around 150 stocks. This is akin to spreading your bets across multiple improbable events – still improbable, but marginally less so. It’s not limited to a single exchange, but it focuses on large-cap stocks – the biggest, most established companies in the world. This is a bit like investing in the inevitability of large objects continuing to be large. The expense ratio is a remarkably low 0.04%. (Which is good, because you’ll need the extra money to fund your eventual escape from Earth.) Over the past decade, it’s delivered gains of around 400%, placing it somewhere between the S&P 500 and the Invesco QQQ Fund. It’s another fund with the potential for superior long-term gains, assuming, of course, that the universe doesn’t decide to rewrite the laws of physics.

Loading widget...

Like the Invesco QQQ Fund, the Vanguard Growth Index Fund has a significant weighting towards technology (around 66%). It seems that the future, at least for the moment, is being built on silicon and algorithms. Together, these two funds provide a solid foundation for a long-term portfolio. They’re not a guaranteed path to riches, but they’re a reasonably sensible way to participate in the ongoing, slightly alarming, experiment that is global finance. And frankly, in a universe as improbable as this one, that’s about the best we can hope for.

Read More

2026-01-30 18:32