ETFs and the Quiet Desperation of Investors

They say the internet changed everything. And it did, of course. Mostly by giving more people more ways to be disappointed. Thirty years ago, businesses realized they could sell you things you didn’t need, directly. And now, thanks to the same miracle, you can watch your savings slowly erode in real-time. So it goes.

For a long time, Wall Street kept its secrets, or at least pretended to. Now? Everyone has access to the same information, which mostly proves that nobody knows what they’re doing. Financial statements, breaking news… it’s all just noise, really. A distraction from the inevitable.

The little guys—the “retail investors”—are playing a bigger role now. About 25% of the trading volume, they say. Double what it was a decade ago. Online brokers noticed, naturally. They’re very good at noticing money.

Robinhood Markets. A cheerful name for a business built on the inherent anxieties of modern life. They offer commission-free trades, which is nice, I suppose. And fractional shares, so you can own a tiny piece of a company that’s probably overvalued.

They have a leaderboard, listing the “100 Most Popular” securities. A popularity contest for your life savings. It’s comforting, in a bleak sort of way.

You’d expect to see the usual suspects—Nvidia, maybe. But it turns out three ETFs—Exchange Traded Funds—are more widely held than the so-called “Magnificent Seven” stocks, and even the high-flying, often-hyped Palantir Technologies and Netflix. People are looking for… something else. Something safer, perhaps. Or maybe just less exhausting.

No. 1 and No. 2: Vanguard S&P 500 ETF and SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust

The stock market doesn’t offer guarantees. Only illusions. But the closest thing to a sure bet is an S&P 500 tracking index. Buy and hold, they say. It sounds so simple. As of February 1st, the Vanguard S&P 500 ETF (VOO) and SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust (SPY) were fifth and ninth most held on Robinhood. A collective shrug, disguised as an investment strategy.

Analysts have crunched the numbers. They’ve looked at 20-year returns, going back to the beginning of the 20th century. Every single 20-year period has produced a positive return. A comforting thought, until you realize that doesn’t mean much if you’re only in it for 15.

The S&P 500 is made up of 500 of the largest companies. They’re likely to survive, at least for a while. Which makes both of these ETFs reasonably safe bets. As safe as anything, anyway.

Both ETFs do the same thing. But the SPDR has a slightly lower expense ratio. A tiny difference, really. Unless you have a lot of money. Then it’s a slightly less painful way to lose it.

No. 3: Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF

While everyone is chasing the next big thing, the 10th most held security on Robinhood is the Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF (BND). People are opting for stability. Or, more accurately, a slower rate of decline.

It tracks the performance of the Bloomberg U.S. Aggregate Float Adjusted Index. Which means it buys U.S. Treasury bonds, corporate bonds, and other debt instruments. It’s a safe bet, as far as bets go. It was yielding over 4% at the end of 2025. A small victory in a world of diminishing returns.

People are buying bonds because stock valuations are… ambitious. The S&P 500 entered 2026 at its second-highest valuation in history. A bubble, perhaps. Or just a temporary delusion.

The Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF is a safe haven. A place to hide from the inevitable correction. A small act of defiance against the forces of chaos. So it goes.

2026-02-06 12:14

No. 1 and No. 2: Vanguard S&P 500 ETF and SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust

No. 3: Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF

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