Listen up, folks! Old Israel Englander – a man who knows a buck from a bagel – has been sniffing around two stocks that have been walloped like a piñata at a particularly enthusiastic birthday party. We’re talking about Robinhood Markets (HOOD 0.30%) and Circle Internet Group (CRCL +2.48%). Down 50% and 75% respectively? Oy vey! That’s a sale, alright. A sale! Now, I’ve seen more promising investments in a used-car lot, but let’s not dismiss this just yet. Wall Street, those geniuses, think these are bargains. And when they think something’s a bargain, well, that’s when I start sharpening my pencils… and maybe ordering a pastrami on rye.
Brian Bedell at Deutsche Bank and Gautam Chhugani at Bernstein – two names you’ll want to remember when the robots take over – are predicting Robinhood could hit $160 a share. That’s a 113% jump! And John Todaro at Needham and, again, that Chhugani fellow (a busy man, that one) are saying Circle could soar to $190. A whopping 206% upside! Now, I’ve seen more reliable predictions from a Magic 8-Ball, but let’s examine this, shall we?
1. Robinhood Markets: For the Kiddies (and the Rest of Us)
Robinhood, you see, is trying to make stock trading accessible to the young’uns – the Millennials and Gen Z. Smart move. They’re inheriting a mountain of dough from the Baby Boomers, a transfer of wealth so vast, it’ll make Croesus blush. And these kids? They like to play with their money. (Who doesn’t?) Robinhood has twice the number of these digital natives as Vanguard, the old guard. It’s like bringing a slingshot to a musket fight! They’re already grabbing market share in crypto, stocks, options… even prediction markets! They bought a prediction exchange! Can you believe it? It’s like they’re saying, “We’re not just a brokerage, we’re a fortune-telling brokerage!”
And now, they’ve got Cortex, an AI assistant. A financial team in your pocket! For a mere $5 a month. Five dollars! That’s less than a decent bagel these days. Vlad Tenev, the CEO, calls it “cutting-edge.” I call it a desperate attempt to distract you from the fact that the market is, shall we say, temperamental. But hey, a little AI never hurt anyone… except maybe the robots.
The stock is down 50% because crypto took a tumble. But Wall Street thinks earnings will grow 20% a year through 2027. That makes it… reasonable. Not a screaming buy, mind you. But a solid, if slightly anxious, hold. Analysts are predicting a median price of $129, a 72% jump. I’m not promising you a yacht, but a slightly nicer pair of socks? Definitely possible.
2. Circle Internet Group: The Digital Dime
Circle, now, is a fintech company that mints these “stablecoins.” USDC, they call it. It’s supposed to be pegged to the U.S. dollar. Like a digital dime. The second-largest stablecoin, and the most compliant with regulations. Which, in the world of crypto, is like saying it’s the only one that actually pays its taxes.
They make money off the interest on the reserves backing the stablecoins. And now they’ve got this Circle Payments Network, CPN. Faster, cheaper cross-border payments. For multinational corporations. Think payroll, supplier payments, treasury management. Basically, they’re trying to cut out the banks. A bold move. Like challenging a heavyweight champion… while wearing tap shoes.
The stablecoin market is worth $315 billion. Experts predict it’ll hit $2 trillion by 2030. That’s a 45% annual growth rate! U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent thinks it could be $3 trillion! 57% growth! These numbers are getting ridiculous! It’s like they’re printing money… which, ironically, is exactly what they’re doing!
Circle thinks USDC will grow 40% a year. That means reserve income could grow 30% a year. And if the CPN takes off? Forget about it! We’re talking serious money! Wall Street thinks revenue will grow 33% a year through 2027. That makes it a reasonable 5.8 times sales. Undervalued, I tell you! Analysts predict a median price of $107, a 73% jump. A new yacht? Maybe. But definitely a really, really nice pair of socks.
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2026-02-19 12:03