The universe, as anyone who’s accidentally glanced at a textbook knows, is expanding. This is, on the one hand, quite good news. On the other, it means everything is slowly but surely drifting apart, including, eventually, our access to readily available fossil fuels. But before that happens – and let’s be realistic, it’s still a few billion years off – there’s a perfectly reasonable amount of money to be made. Demand for energy, driven by the relentless proliferation of data centers (which, let’s face it, are just very polite warehouses for forgotten thoughts) and a global economy still stubbornly reliant on things that burn, suggests a continued, if increasingly improbable, need for hydrocarbons. The United States and Canada, bless their geographically fortunate souls, are positioned to supply a disconcerting amount of it.
This, naturally, leads to the question of dividends. Companies that happen to be good at extracting and processing this stuff are, predictably, quite keen to share some of the profits with their shareholders. It’s a surprisingly logical arrangement, really. A sort of delayed gratification scheme with a statistically low probability of actually seeing you through retirement. Still, it’s better than nothing. Here are three companies that, at the moment, seem reasonably determined to keep the dividend checks coming. Don’t mistake this for a recommendation, of course. Just an observation. (And a slight acknowledgment that we all have bills to pay.)
1. Chevron
Chevron, like many of its peers, is involved in the rather complex process of digging things up, refining them, and then selling them to people who will promptly burn them. It’s a circular economy, of sorts. They operate across the entire spectrum of the oil and gas industry, which is impressive, if you ignore the inherent existential dread of it all. The company has been reliably increasing its dividend for 37 years, which is a testament to either exceptional management or an astonishing amount of luck. (It’s probably a bit of both.) Currently, the yield is a solid 3.7%, meaning that for every hundred dollars you invest, you get three-and-a-bit dollars back. It’s not quite enough to buy a small planet, but it’s a start.
Chevron anticipates growing its free cash flow by 10% annually over the next five years, which is optimistic, considering the unpredictable nature of global events and the increasing likelihood of sentient toasters demanding equal rights. They recently acquired Hess for a staggering $55 billion, gaining access to a particularly promising oil field off the coast of Guyana. This is, essentially, a bet on the continued need for oil. A bold, perhaps slightly reckless, bet. But a bet nonetheless. And as any gambler knows, the house always wins… eventually.
2. Enbridge
Enbridge, a Canadian energy behemoth, specializes in the art of moving things. Specifically, oil and gas. They have a vast network of pipelines that crisscross North America, transporting hydrocarbons from the Canadian oil sands to various export destinations. It’s a logistical marvel, really. Like a giant, metal circulatory system for the continent. The company also operates gas utilities, serving millions of customers, and is dabbling in renewable energy. A commendable effort, although it’s difficult to shake the feeling that they’re simply hedging their bets. (Which, from a purely cynical perspective, is perfectly understandable.)
Enbridge has been steadily increasing its dividend for 28 years, maintaining a responsible payout ratio of around 66% of its projected 2026 cash flow. The stock currently yields 5%, which is rather attractive. It’s the kind of return that makes you briefly forget about the impending climate crisis and the inherent absurdity of modern existence. (But only briefly.) The company’s pipeline and utility segments are remarkably stable, because, let’s face it, people will always need to heat their homes and power their devices. Even if those devices are plotting our downfall.
3. ExxonMobil
ExxonMobil, like Chevron, is a major player in the global energy landscape. They have a vast portfolio of assets and a fortress-like balance sheet (rated AA- by the credit rating agencies, which is reassuring, if you trust credit rating agencies). The company has been increasing its dividend for 42 years, demonstrating an ability to navigate the cyclical nature of the energy industry. Peace of mind is a rare commodity in this business, and ExxonMobil seems to have a disproportionate share of it. Or at least, they’re very good at pretending to have it.
In 2024, ExxonMobil acquired Pioneer Natural Resources for $59.5 billion, doubling its land assets in the Permian Basin. A bold move, but not entirely unexpected. The company is clearly betting on the continued demand for oil and gas. The current dividend yield is 2.8%, which is… adequate. It won’t make you rich, but it might prevent you from having to sell your collection of vintage rubber ducks. And in the grand scheme of things, that’s a victory.
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2026-02-17 12:14