So, the S&P 500 is handing out dividends like a reluctant teenager giving allowance. A measly 1.1%? Honestly. You deserve better. Like, a slightly less depressing retirement, perhaps. Let’s talk about Realty Income and General Mills. Two companies that, while existing on opposite ends of the “how much risk are you willing to tolerate before you start screaming” spectrum, both offer yields that don’t make you question all your life choices.
Here’s the breakdown, because apparently, we all need a PowerPoint presentation to explain basic financial concepts.
Realty Income: The Beige of Investments
Realty Income is essentially the largest net-lease REIT, which is a fancy way of saying they own buildings and make other people pay for the upkeep. It’s the corporate equivalent of a roommate who never does the dishes but also doesn’t trash the place. They’ve got over 15,500 properties, mostly single-tenant, which is a surprisingly stable business model. It’s not glamorous, it’s not disruptive, it’s just…there. Like a sensible pair of shoes. And they’ve been increasing their monthly dividend annually for three decades. Thirty years! That’s longer than most marriages. Frankly, it’s a little intimidating.
With a current yield of around 4.9%, and an investment-grade balance sheet, Realty Income is basically the financial equivalent of a warm blanket. It won’t set your world on fire, but it will keep you from freezing. If you’re the type who relies on dividends to, you know, live, this is a solid, if slightly boring, choice. Think of it as the responsible adult in your portfolio.
General Mills: The Comfort Food of Stocks
Now, General Mills. They’re rocking a yield of roughly 5%. Which, let’s be honest, is a little desperate. It’s the financial equivalent of a company aggressively discounting its products. They’re admitting things aren’t exactly booming. And 2026 is shaping up to be an “investment year,” which is corporate-speak for “we’re probably going to lose money.” Sales dropped 7% in the last quarter, organic sales down 1%? Ouch. That’s like finding out your favorite cereal is now 80% air.
But hold on. They sold off some stuff, so it’s not entirely a disaster. They’re strategically repositioning themselves, which is corporate-speak for “we’re trying to figure out what people want before it’s too late.” They’ve been making and selling food for a long time. They know how to pivot. And the dividend payout ratio is around 55%, which is reasonable. It’s like they’re saying, “We’re not promising you a yacht, but we’re pretty sure we can keep the Cheerios flowing.” After 127 years of paying dividends, they’ve earned a little leeway.
Two Paths to Mild Financial Security
So, here’s the deal. If you’re risk-averse and enjoy the color beige, Realty Income is your jam. If you’re willing to gamble a little on the enduring appeal of processed food, General Mills might be worth a look. Either way, you’ll get a higher yield than you’d get from an S&P 500 index fund. And in this economy? That’s a win. A small, slightly underwhelming win, but a win nonetheless.
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2026-02-19 12:32