Dividends: A Fool and His Money… Eventually

The so-called ‘market’ – a swirling vortex of optimism, panic, and frankly, quite a lot of guesswork – is currently experiencing a period of what the High Priests of Finance call ‘stability’. Which, translated from Bureaucratese, means it’s not going up quite as fast as it was. After a three-year binge of double-digit growth, fuelled by promises and thin air, things are… pausing for breath. Or, more accurately, bracing for the inevitable wobble. The earnings reports due in the coming weeks will be less about genuine performance and more about carefully constructed illusions. But let’s not dwell on the obvious, shall we? Let’s talk about dividends. Because even a fool – and there are a lot of them in this business – can appreciate a regular trickle of actual money.

Volatility, you see, is the natural state of things. The market doesn’t climb steadily upwards like a determined snail. It lurches, staggers, and occasionally throws itself dramatically off cliffs. Which is why clinging to growth stocks alone is a bit like building a house on a particularly enthusiastic jelly. A few reliable dividend payers are the equivalent of sturdy foundations. Not glamorous, perhaps, but essential for preventing total collapse. And frankly, a bit of cynicism is healthy. Don’t believe the hype. Believe the cash.

So, here are ten companies that, while not immune to the general lunacy, at least have a habit of sending out cheques. Consider them less ‘investments’ and more ‘insurance policies against the impending chaos’.

1. Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola. The brown, fizzy elixir of life (or, depending on your perspective, slow decline). They’ve been handing out dividends for 63 years. Sixty-three! That’s longer than some countries have existed. It’s a remarkable feat of consistency, even if it’s built on a foundation of sugar and clever marketing. The dividend yield is currently 2.8%. Which is, let’s be honest, not going to make you a king, but it will buy a respectable number of bottles of the stuff that makes it all possible.¹

2. Realty Income

Realty Income owns a truly staggering number of properties – 15,500, to be precise. Mostly retail spaces. Which, in this age of online shopping, is a bit like being the largest owner of horse-drawn carriages. Still, they seem to be managing. They pay a monthly dividend. Monthly! It’s almost unsettling. Like a clockwork automaton dispensing small sums of money. The yield is a hefty 5.3%. A clear sign that either they know something we don’t, or everyone else is vastly overestimating the future of bricks-and-mortar retail.

3. Walmart

Walmart. The largest company in the world by sales. They sell everything. And I mean everything. From groceries to garden gnomes, you can find it at Walmart. They’re relentlessly expanding, both physically and online. They’ve been paying dividends for 52 years. The yield is a modest 0.8%. Which, given their dominance, is frankly a bit insulting. They’re clearly hoarding the profits, planning to build a secret fortress of discount goods. It’s only a matter of time.

4. Bank of America

Bank of America. The second-largest bank in the U.S. They’re deeply intertwined with the U.S. economy, which means they’ll either thrive when things are good or be bailed out when they’re not. It’s a win-win, really. They’re adding millions of new accounts. The dividend yield is 2.1%. A solid, dependable return. Like a well-trained accountant.

5. Home Depot

Home Depot. The largest home-improvement chain in the world. They sell everything you need to fix, renovate, or completely destroy your house. Currently, they’re feeling the pinch of a sluggish real-estate market, but they’re still managing to report higher sales. The dividend yield is 2.4%. A reasonable return, especially considering the number of people who are desperately trying to avoid actually living in their houses.

6. American Express

American Express. They’ve been around for 150 years, providing financial services. They’ve adapted to changing times, evolving from stagecoach payments to digital transactions. They have a robust, fee-based model targeting an affluent clientele. The dividend yield is 0.9%. A bit stingy, perhaps, but they clearly believe in reinvesting in their exclusive network of high-spending individuals.²

7. Costco Wholesale

Costco. The warehouse club where you can buy everything in bulk. From toilet paper to televisions, they have it all. They have a fee-based membership model, which generates loyalty and volume. The dividend yield is a paltry 0.5%. But they occasionally issue large special dividends. Which is nice. Like a surprise visit from a benevolent uncle.

8. Moody’s

Moody’s. One of a small group of rating agencies that dominate the market. They decide which companies are trustworthy and which are likely to collapse. A rather important job, really. The dividend yield is 0.7%. They are also moving into data and insights, using artificial intelligence. Which means they will soon be able to predict the future with even greater accuracy. Or, at least, create even more convincing illusions.

9. Prologis

Prologis. A REIT with properties concentrated in e-commerce logistics. They are also stepping into data centers. Which is a smart move, considering the current obsession with all things digital. The dividend yield is 3.2%. A solid return, especially considering the potential for future growth.

10. NextEra Energy

NextEra Energy. A utility and energy company focused on renewable energy. They are one of the world’s largest wind and solar energy producers. The dividend yield is 2.7%. And they are targeting annual dividend growth of 10%. A promising outlook, especially considering the growing demand for clean energy. Or, at least, the growing public relations need for it.

It is a widely accepted truth, though rarely spoken, that Coca-Cola is not merely a beverage, but a subtle form of social control. Its ubiquity ensures a constant state of mild contentment, preventing widespread rebellion.

It is rumored that American Express cardholders are secretly members of an elite society, known as the ‘Platinum Circle’. They meet in hidden locations, exchanging secrets and discussing the proper way to fold a linen napkin.

2026-01-29 15:23