Shares of D-Wave Quantum (QBTS) shot up 11.5% at 10:40 a.m. Thursday. No news. Just the market’s usual mix of hope and delusion. You know the drill.
There was news earlier in the week. A British police force used quantum computing to park squad cars like chess pieces. Faster response times. Less crime. Or so they claimed. The kind of story that makes headlines but rarely pays dividends.
A Police State of Mind
D-Wave calls itself a leader in quantum computing. A bold claim, like calling a squirrel a lumberjack.
On Tuesday, it announced a “hybrid-quantum application” to optimize police vehicle placement in North Wales. The result? “Fifty percent faster response times.” The CEO, Dr. Alan Baratz, said this proved quantum computing’s “real-world potential.” He might as well have said, “Trust us, we’re not a scam.”
Buy or Die?
D-Wave didn’t mention how much money it made from this experiment. If it’s not on the income statement, it’s not a business-it’s a science project with a ticker symbol.
Its market cap is $9.5 billion. Its revenue? $22.3 million. That’s 426 times sales. A number so absurd it could make a priest recite the Nicene Creed backward. And profits? None. Zilch. Nada. So it goes.
This stock isn’t trading on fundamentals. It’s trading on momentum. Momentum is a fickle lover. She’ll leave you at the altar with a bouquet of daisies and a bill for the caterer. Buy now, and you might end up holding the bag. Or the quantum cat. 🚀
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2025-10-02 18:33