
Okay, so the crypto market has been on a five-year bender, right? Bitcoin, Ethereum, XRP – they’ve all had their moments. It’s been like watching a particularly volatile stock with better branding. Buy and hold? Sure, if you have the emotional fortitude of a Zen master and a high tolerance for screenshots of your portfolio’s all-time highs. But let’s be real, some of these coins are less about long-term value and more about hoping someone, anyone, will pay more for them than you did. As a dividend hunter, I’m looking for income, people. Not digital Beanie Babies. And trust me, these two? They’re giving me serious zero-coupon bond vibes – which is to say, none at all.
Let’s talk about two tokens that could turn your $100,000 into a really impressive collection of NFTs no one wants. Or, you know, nothing.
Shiba Inu
Shiba Inu. It launched in 2020, and it’s basically the crypto equivalent of a viral TikTok dance. Everyone jumped on, it had a moment, and now… well, it’s fading. Investors who got in early? Good for them. They’re probably funding their early retirement with pictures of dogs. But the coin is down 90% from its peak. Ninety percent! That’s not a correction; that’s a digital implosion. It’s like investing in parachute pants and hoping they make a comeback.
They’ve tried burning coins, which is a fancy way of saying they’re digitally shredding some of the supply. But it’s like trying to bail out the ocean with a teacup. The layer-2 network? It hasn’t exactly set the world on fire. And the metaverse project? Oh, the metaverse. Let’s just say SHIB: The Metaverse launched, sputtered, and is now likely hosting digital tumbleweeds. It’s a virtual ghost town. The metaverse was supposed to be the future, and now it feels like a very expensive distraction.
As of today, Shiba Inu is still clinging to a $5 billion market cap. That’s… something. But it’s a meme coin losing relevance. There’s no fundamental reason to believe it will suddenly start paying dividends. I mean, does anyone expect Shiba Inu to issue a quarterly payout? No. It’s a gamble, pure and simple. And as a dividend hunter, I prefer my returns a little more… predictable.
Bitcoin Cash
Bitcoin Cash. Now, this one’s a little more complicated. It’s a fork of Bitcoin, which, in crypto terms, is like a digital family feud. It promised lower fees and faster transactions. And for a while, some investors thought it might actually overtake its older sibling. It’s up 44% over the last year, while Bitcoin… well, Bitcoin just remains Bitcoin. It’s the blue chip of the crypto world, even if its valuation makes no sense to anyone who understands basic financial principles.
But here’s the thing: Bitcoin Cash’s $12.7 billion market cap is still a tiny fraction of Bitcoin’s $1.8 trillion. It’s like comparing a lemonade stand to Amazon. It’s gained ground, sure, but it’s still playing catch-up in a race with a rocket ship. Institutional adoption is… let’s just say lukewarm. And while it might offer some benefits in terms of speed and fees, Bitcoin is increasingly valued for its speculative potential, not its practicality as a payment system. Frankly, a lot of these coins could be used to buy coffee, but people are treating them like lottery tickets.
There’s a real risk that Bitcoin Cash will end up trading like a meme coin, too. It might get swept up in broader market trends, but its long-term staying power is questionable. As a dividend hunter, I’m looking for companies that generate actual cash flow, not digital promises. And frankly, Bitcoin Cash just doesn’t make the cut. It’s a bit like investing in Blockbuster stock in 2005 – you might get lucky, but you’re probably going to lose your shirt.
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2026-01-17 13:45