“You Won’t Believe How Dogecoin & Bitcoin Fought Off Trump’s Tariff Tantrums! 😲🚀”
If there’s one thing President Donald Trump loves, it’s making bold tariff decisions. If there’s one thing Bitcoin loves, it’s having a panic attack every time he does. 😂 Over the last 24 hours, Bitcoin (BTC) took a graceful 4% swan dive following reports of upcoming U.S. tariffs. Altcoins? They’re nervously sweating on the bench, hoping Trump doesn’t tweet anything outrageous. (Spoiler: He probably will.)
While Trump’s recent chat with Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney was described as “very, very good,” traders remain on high alert. In Trump-speak, this may translate to “Let’s shake things up like a maraca next Monday!”
Crypto sectors hit hardest by Trump’s tariff war
Altcoins have had a worse year than that time South Park made fun of Bitcoin. Yes, meme coins and AI-based tokens felt the full blunt force of trade war shenanigans. The total market capitalization of altcoins is down 23% this year, which is just fancy math-speak for, “It’s bad, but hey, it could be worse.” See below for your daily dose of doom metrics:
Interestingly, meme coins like Dogecoin got through unscathed because, let’s be honest, Dogecoin exists in a parallel universe where everything’s a joke, including tariffs. XRP, our corporate rebel of the crypto world, also shrugged nonchalantly, having already been through far worse with the whole SEC drama. 🎭
Bitcoin, Dogecoin, and XRP: The Three Musketeers… Sort Of
Bitcoin hasn’t been having the time of its life, but it’s proved that even when pushed below the $77,000 “cycle bottom,” it’ll get back up like a fainting goat. Meanwhile, Dogecoin somehow skyrocketed 41% in six months. Was this due to utility? No. Was it memes? Absolutely. 😹 XRP, riding on the sweet aftertaste of legal victories, is up 260% this half-year. Victory lap, anyone?
Dogecoin seems to be aiming for new heights, testing $0.21 resistance like an overeager SpaceX rocket. However, if things go wrong, it might nosedive to a lovely vacation spot dubbed “Support at $0.16.” You win some, you lose some! 🤷♂️
Not to be outdone, XRP is doing its best impression of the Mona Lisa—staring at both $1.95 (support) and $2.59 (resistance) and leaving traders as puzzled as ever. Many are intrigued by the subtle charm of its MACD and RSI indicators which, I might add, are about as clear as horoscopes. 🌌
Trump’s Tariff Antics: Add Pressure, Stir Liberally 🌀
While traders nervously nibble the edges of their fingernails, Trump’s tariff announcements continue to wreak havoc. Ethereum (ETH), our poor DeFi bedrock, has taken it the hardest, earning various nicknames like “Zombie Token” and “More-Dead-Than-My-Plants.” Its fate is tied to the whims of highly-leveraged trading bots, whales, and traders who think adding more leverage equals strategy. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t. 😬
Fear, Greed, and Memecoins 🎢
The crypto Fear & Greed Index currently sits at 44. This means most traders are still fearful but slightly more optimistic than your average horror movie victim. Analysts, meanwhile, warn that tariff announcements could create the “mother of all bear traps,” basically luring traders into buying the dip, only to dip again. Sounds fun, right? 😖
“The fear of Trump tariffs is worse than 9/11, the Iraq War, the Financial Crisis, and the Covid-19 shutdown. Does that sound rational to you? This could be the biggest bear trap ever!”
— Lark Davis (@TheCryptoLark)
How to Prepare for Liberation Day 📅
As April 2 approaches—the fabled Liberation Day—crypto traders are hunkering down. Bitcoin is testing resistance at $88,000. Altcoins, however, are bracing for new volatility because, let’s face it, they just can’t take a joke. Experts recommend a “risk-off” strategy. Translation: Don’t act like a gambler in Vegas who thinks their luck is about to change. It probably won’t. 🤦
Ethereum: The Undisputed “Worst Hit” Champ 🎤
Ethereum has solidified its status as the “most bullied” token in this trade war. As the DeFi kingpin, ETH has been liquidated so many times that even its leverage looks tired. The cascading sell-offs from institutional players should teach ETH one thing: Never be too important in crypto when geopolitical tensions rise. The market has a wonderful way of reminding you who’s boss. Spoiler alert—it’s not ETH right now. 🪦
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2025-03-28 21:50