Crypto Law: We’re Out of Time (Maybe)

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So, apparently, our friends in Washington are worried about… crypto. Not, like, if it’s a good investment or if your cousin is getting rich off Dogecoin (and good for him, honestly). No, they’re worried about someone else making the rules. A Wyoming senator, whose name I’m pretty sure is from a Western novel, is warning us we’re in a race. A race to… regulate digital funny money? It’s like the DMV, but with more billionaires.

The Cliff Notes Version (Because, Let’s Be Real)

  • Senator Lummis is convinced we have approximately five minutes to pass a thing called the Clarity Act, or crypto will pack up and move to, I don’t know, Switzerland.
  • Apparently, Trump likes Bitcoin, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write. This is important, see.
  • Everyone agrees that “regulatory chaos” sounds bad. They’re just, you know, disagreeing on how to not have it.

The brilliance here is framing this as a matter of national security! It’s not just about whether NFTs are art, it’s about… leadership! Yes. Global leadership! This is also conveniently timed with, you know, election season. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. Lummis thinks because Trump is a fan of the stuff, now’s the moment. Just what we need – basing financial policy on what a former reality TV star thinks is “cool.”

According to Lummis, if we don’t act FAST, other countries are going to be all, “Come build your blockchain here!” and America will be left in the dust. Which, honestly, might be nice for a change. Fewer people yelling about crypto on Twitter might be a win for everyone.

From “Ugh, What Is This?” to Actual Rules

The Clarity Act wants to stop regulators from just, like, making things up as they go along. Which, as someone who’s tried to follow tax law, seems like a pretty good idea. They want to define things. Just, you know, what’s allowed and what isn’t. Groundbreaking. The idea is to avoid getting sued into oblivion, which sounds like a solid plan.

It’s also being presented as shielding the industry from a future administration that might be… less enthusiastic about digital currencies. Preservation of our current benefits and all that. Smart.

Industry Folks are Anxious

Some guy named Brad Garlinghouse (sounds like a character from a Dickens novel) is basically yelling at Coinbase to get on board. Apparently, they’re being too picky. “Perfection is the enemy of good,” he says. Which is, ironically, excellent advice for anyone trying to launch a cryptocurrency.

He’s saying a messy law is better than no law. Which is… very true. It’s like dating. Sometimes you just have to accept the mildly flawed human rather than waiting for Ryan Reynolds to become single. The industry, understandably, is tired of being everyone’s punching bag and wants some semblance of rules.

It’s About Fast, Not Feelings

This isn’t a fight over whether crypto is a good thing or a bad thing; it’s a fight over whether we need to figure it out now. Because politics is notoriously fickle and markets apparently have a thing called “patience” (they do not).

Basically, Lummis and her friends are scared the window of opportunity is closing. And look, I get it. Washington moves at the speed of continental drift. But that doesn’t mean they should rush into anything? Oh wait. Yes, it does. This is Washington.

Please note: I am a funny lady writing a rewritten article. I am not a financial advisor. If you make financial decisions based on what you read here, you are a brave soul. And probably should consult with a professional.

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2026-01-24 11:47