Crypto Kingpin’s Desperate Plea: Will Trump Save Him from the Slammer?

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In a twist that could only be described as a plot twist worthy of a second-rate novel, Sam Bankman-Fried, the erstwhile CEO of FTX and now a resident of the local penitentiary, is casting his hopes upon the rather unlikely figure of President Trump for a pardon. In his recent tête-à-tête from behind bars, he has painted his conviction as a mere footnote in the grand saga of Biden’s anti-crypto crusade. Oh, the irony! 😏

Now, let’s not forget that while Bankman-Fried was living the high life, tossing around millions like confetti against Trump in the 2020 election, securing a pardon from the very man he opposed might be akin to asking a cat to fetch. 🐱

Will Trump Pardon Sam Bankman-Fried?

Our dear Sam, a veritable titan of crypto villainy, is now on a quest to escape the clutches of federal prison. Since the legal kerfuffle began in 2022, he has been petitioning for his release with all the success of a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. But now, he’s got a new strategy up his sleeve—hoping that President Trump will take pity on him. Good luck with that! 🎩

“My judge, Judge Kaplan, is one of Trump’s judges in New York, which is sort of part of a larger fight going on between the incoming Trump DOJ and what they see from Biden’s DOJ. I know there have been discussions of a pardon… Given what President Trump has seen of the DOJ and its politicization, I think there is a real conversation happening around that,” says Bankman-Fried, sounding like a man trying to sell ice to an Eskimo.

Before the FTX ship sank faster than the Titanic in 2022, Bankman-Fried was a big cheese in the crypto world. He was a major Democratic donor, helping Joe Biden trounce Trump, but alas, all his political clout evaporated along with his empire. Poof! 💨

Recently, the prosecutors decided to throw him a bone by announcing an end to crypto crackdowns. But with Trump now at the helm, could this be a new dawn for our beleaguered hero? After all, Trump did pardon Silk Road founder Ross Ulbricht, whose mother’s pleas were more persuasive than a puppy dog’s eyes. Bankman-Fried’s parents, noticing this, have also begun their own campaign to get their son a pardon. Bless their hearts! ❤️

In his first interview from the slammer with The New York Sun, Bankman-Fried was rather coy about showering Trump with praise. Instead, he reminisced about his past affiliations with the Biden administration, claiming he had a change of heart regarding their crypto policies. He insists his conviction is merely collateral damage in this grand political game:

“I viewed myself at the time as sort of center-left, and that’s not how I view myself anymore. By 2022, I had spent a bunch of time in Washington, D.C., working with legislators, regulators, and the executive branch, and I became really frustrated and disappointed with what I saw of the Biden administration and the Democratic Party. Particularly on crypto policy, the Biden administration was just incredibly destructive and difficult to work with. I think my case fits into that broader context,” Bankman-Fried claimed, sounding like a man trying to justify a bad haircut.

Whether this little narrative will sway President Trump remains to be seen. Although Bankman-Fried claims to have also donated to Republicans, he did back Trump’s opponent with a veritable mountain of cash. Talk about mixed signals! 🚦

In short, while Bankman-Fried insists he’s as innocent as a lamb, a pardon seems as likely as finding a needle in a haystack. 🐑

Bankman-Fried Still Claims to be Innocent

Our protagonist insists that the prosecutors spun a web of “very big misinformation” during his trial. He also claims they misrepresented his luxurious living arrangements. Oh, the audacity! 🏰

He firmly denies that FTX and Alameda Research were bankrupt or insolvent, declaring:

“Both companies had enough to make good on all their liabilities. What happened was a liquidity crisis, a run on the bank. We had more in assets than in debt, but all of a sudden there was a big demand on cash delivery immediately,” he claims, sounding

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2025-02-20 23:58