Crypto Heist! 😱 Wallets Frozen!

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Right, so, World Liberty Financial – or WLFI, which sounds suspiciously like a cough – had a bit of a kerfuffle. Apparently, some folks with a fondness for clicking things they shouldn’t have (you know the type, 🙄) fell victim to what is politely called ‘phishing’. What it actually was, was someone dangling metaphorical, and possibly digital, shiny objects in front of users until they handed over the keys to the kingdom. Specifically, their seed phrases. Which, let’s be honest, sound like something you’d sprinkle on a particularly bland salad.

This all happened before they even officially launched the platform, which is…a choice. Like building a magnificent castle, then discovering the foundations were made of slightly damp sand. They noticed a ‘small number’ of wallets were feeling a bit light-fingered (or rather, light-cryptofingered) and, in a move that can only be described as digital exasperation, froze them. Threw a metaphorical lock on the door, you might say. 🔒

Then came the ‘KYC re-verification process’. Oh joy. More forms. More proof of existence. Because apparently, being a human being with an account isn’t enough these days. They’ve also been tinkering with ‘smart contract logic’ – which sounds impressively complicated, probably involves elves, and is designed to move the money to new, slightly less-compromised wallets.

And, naturally, WLFI are keen to point out this wasn’t their fault. No, no. It was ‘third-party security issues’. It’s always a third party. Like a magical mishap always being the fault of the apprentice wizard. They’re only giving the money back to those who play along with the verification, of course. Because rewarding caution is clearly a novel concept. 🧐 Probably best to change your password… and possibly invest in a good tin foil hat. Just in case. ✨

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2025-11-20 09:07