Crypto ETFs: Seriously?

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So, apparently, someone decided three cryptocurrencies – SOL, HBAR, and LTC – needed a grown-up makeover in the form of ETFs. Like they were ashamed of being…digital? 🙄 It’s all happening under this archaic “1933 Act,” which, I assume, involved a lot of men in hats and suspenders.

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The crypto world is doing that thing it does – celebrating something that sounds complicated but mostly means numbers went up on a screen. Three new ETFs materialized on October 28th, and the champagne corks practically flew off (probably into someone’s meticulously arranged crypto mining rig). We’re talking about the Bitwise Solana Staking ETF (BSOL), the Canary Capital Group LLC Canary HBAR ETF (HBR), and the Canary Litecoin ETF (LTCC). Because who doesn’t want a little canary in their portfolio? 🐦 It adds…flair.

Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas, a man whose job I still can’t quite grasp, tweeted about it, because that’s how important news is delivered now.

Big day … Three coins are getting first ’33 Act spot ETFs.

Dramatic, isn’t it? Later, he reported the numbers: “$BSOL: $56m, $HBR: $8m, $LTCC: $1m.” Which, let’s be honest, sounds like someone’s grocery bill for a month. But apparently, it’s big. 🎉

Balchunas then pointed out that BSOL was the best debut of the year, beating out ETFs named after things like artificial intelligence. I mean, really? Crypto beating AI? Next thing you know, pigeons will be delivering the mail.

Bitwise was thrilled. They shared on X – still can’t call it Twitter – that BSOL had a volume of $55.4 million and $217.2 million in AUM. Their CEO, Hunter Horsley, said investors like “growth potential” and “staking rewards.” Which, translated, means “people like making more money.” A revolutionary concept. 🤯

Steven McClurg of Canary Capital chimed in with statements about Hedera and Litecoin, talking about “tokenization” and “real-world adoption.” I’m pretty sure my grandmother doesn’t know what any of that means, and she’s a savvy investor. Mostly in Tupperware.

We’re entering a new era where tokenization is moving from concept to real-world adoption.

Meanwhile, the SEC was operating with a skeleton crew, thanks to some political squabbling. Convenient timing for these launches, wasn’t it? Makes you wonder if someone greased a few palms. 🤷‍♀️

FAQs (Because You’re Confused, and That’s Okay) 🤔

  • What does this even mean?
    It means some very optimistic, and possibly slightly unhinged, people are putting more money into digital things.
  • Was it a big day for trading?
    Apparently. I mean, numbers were exchanged.
  • Did the SEC accidentally let this happen?
    They were… preoccupied. Let’s leave it at that.
  • What’s next?
    More numbers, more enthusiasm, and probably more things I don’t understand.

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2025-10-29 03:28